Episode 15: "Romantic Expressionism"
Jeff: You started having sex with Britta's ex-boyfriend!
Annie: What? We haven't even kissed.
Pierce: That doesn't mean you're not having sex. [permalink]
Pierce: What's the matter? Mama Chang didn't breast feed?
Chang: "She read in a book that it wouldn't make a difference. [permalink]
Pierce: My brother died on the set of that movie! One of the mechanical spiders just went haywire and tore him to pieces, and Tom Selleck just stood there and watched him die. [permalink]
Vaughn: That's G, the most important chord. In my mind, it stands for God. [permalink]
Vaughn: Actually, everyone is my bro in the whole entire universe because everything is connected. Rocks... eagles... hats. [permalink]
Abed: When you guys first came in we were as wholesome and healthy as the family in The Brady Bunch. And now we're as dysfunctional and incestuous as the cast of The Brady Bunch. [permalink]
Britta: Okay, if you're going to get all Upper East Side about this I think we're done. [permalink]
Punch-Kicker: I am Punch-Kicker. My punches have the strength of kicks. [permalink]
Pierce: What are you, my third wife's therapist? [permalink]
Jeff: Vaughn doesn't ever wear shoes or a shirt. How has he not died from a lack of service? [permalink]
Episode 14: "Interpretive Dance"
Dean Pelton: Two people of your rankings in this small room, with this type of lighting, and his upper body, and what her heels and hemlines are doing to enhance what were already quite a few favors from God — It's all the more important to keep it tasteful. [permalink]
Troy: Girls are supposed to dance. That's why God gave them parts that jiggle. [permalink]
Annie: I'd like to have a preliminary pow-wow, or prelimawow, about what I'm calling our library's back-door conumdrum.
Abed: Sounds like a porno with Kate Winslet. [permalink]
Pierce: Tea for two? There are five people up there. [permalink]
Jeff: Can't I be the friend in the group whose trademark is his well-defined boundaries like Privacy Smurf, Discrete Bear or Confidentiality Spice? [permalink]
Jeff: As soon as we touch, the blinds will open, and six annoying but lovable misfits will be staring at us. [permalink]
Troy: I am spending a lot of money on breakaway clothing. [permalink]
Pierce: Culturally, it's unacceptable, but it's theatrical dynamite! [permalink]
Pierce: When I was 30 people used to wish I was dead to my face, that's called respect. [permalink]
Troy: The last thing I said to him was 'Suck it.
Britta: Me too. [permalink]
