Community

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We'll definitely be back next year. If not, it'll be because an asteroid has destroyed all human civilization. And that's canon.

Abed

I teach law at Greendale, so believe me, I don't know much about law.

Jeff

It's so clear now. The entire school is shaped like a penis.

Professor Duncan

We're like Goonies, except our story tracks logically.

Abed

What does this look like? An hour-long episode of The Office?

Dean Pelton

Some people said he hid his money using a portal to another dimension. Those people were on LSD. Everyone else said that he had a secret vault in his office.

Dean Pelton

Jeff: I'm not dreaming about settling down.
Annie: Maybe you already have. You're teaching, you like it, you love Greendale--
Jeff: No, I love scotch and myself. I tolerate Greendale.

Hickey: If I come over there, there are gonna be two sounds: me hitting you...twice.

Subway Rep: So you're teaching Fundamentals of Law here?
Jeff: Yeah.
Subway Rep: Do you think you could make the transition to teaching Sandwich Law? It's essentially the same, I'm sure. Just a bit more focused.

Let's do what people do. Let's get a house we can't afford and a dog that makes us angry.

Jeff

I should go clean out my locker...she said at the age of 33.

Britta

Britta: What's an insurance appraiser?
Annie: Something that sounds normal and boring, but is actually scary, like a raised mole, or a turkey deep-fryer.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 873 in total

Community Quotes

Troy: I think I'm failing psychopharmacology.
Britta: Why are you taking that?
Troy: I thought it was a class about crazy farm animals.

Sensible night, appropriate night.
Snow on ground, left and right.
Round yon purchase of decorative things.
Tolerant rewrite of carols to sing.
Function with relative ease,
Function with relative ease.

Shirley [sung to the tune of "Silent Night"]