Favorite Rory Gilmore Quotes
Paris: (on asking Rory to run for Vice President) Because people think you're nice. You're quiet, you say excuse me, you look like little birds help you get dressed in the morning. People don't fear you.
Rory: Hey, I haven't been dressed by a bird since I was two.
Lorelai: Rory, I love you. I would take a bullet for you. But I'd rather stick something sharp in my ear than go to the club with you.
Rory: Fine.
Lorelai: I'd rather slide down a banister of razor blades and land in a pool of alcohol than go to the club with you.
Rory: I got it.
Lorelai: Don't stop me, I'm on a roll. I'd rather eat my own hand than go to the club with you. Ooh, I'd rather get my face surgically altered to look like that lunatic rich lady with the lion head than go to the club with you.
Rory: Would you like me to drive so you can continue your diatribe?
Lorelai: Would ya? Thanks. I'd rather cut off my head and use it as a punch bowl than go to the club with you.
Because sometimes you have something you need to say but you can't because the words won't come out or you get scared or you feel stupid, so if you could write a song and sing it then you could say what you need to say and it would be beautiful and people would listen and you wouldn't make a complete idiot out of yourself, but all of us can't be songwriters so some of us will never be able to say what we're thinking or what we want other people to know that we're thinking so we'll never get the chance to make things right again ever.
(after the man in the diner hits on Lorelai, she turns around to find him hitting on Rory)
Joey: (to Rory) Yeah, I've never been through here before.
Lorelai: Oh, you have too.
Joey: Oh, hi.
Lorelai: Oh, hi. You really like my table, don't you?
Joey: I was just, uh...
Lorelai: Getting to know my daughter?
Joey: Your...
Rory: Are you my new daddy?
Miss Patty: Rory! Hello. Try a plum. They're better than sex.
Rory: Um, no, thanks.
Miss Patty: Fresh fruit always has such a, tch, a sensuality about it. Are you too young for this?
Rory: Definitely.
Miss Patty: Well what are you here for, honey?
Rory: Oh, well, I just..I just (stuttering).
Miss Patty: Ooh, I see what you're here for (referring to Dean). Well that wouldn't fit in a basket. No, no no no.
Rory: Patty! It's not like that. He's just a person.
Miss Patty: A person?
Rory: A boy-type person.
Miss Patty: Oh, my favorite kind.
Rory: I really don't even know him.
Miss Patty: Oh right, you don't know him.
Rory: I don't.
Miss Patty: You said.
Rory: Please don't say anything.
Miss Patty: I promise I won't tell a single soul that you don't know that young man.
Rory: Thank you.
Miss Patty: You're welcome.
Rory: Are you my boyfriend?
Dean: In the broadest sense of the word way?
Rory: No, in the real, 'Hi, this is Dean, my boyfriend' kind of way.
Dean: Well, I am if you want me to be
Rory: What's in there?
Dean: A salad.
Rory: Salad?
Dean: Yeah, it's a quaint dish sometimes used to precede large quantities of pizza.
(Lorelai and Rory give him strange looks)
Dean: It's for me.
Rory: Clearly.
Rory: (enters Mrs. Kim's) Lane?
Lane: Go to the left! (Rory almost runs into Mrs. Kim)
Lane: Sorry, I meant my left. Your right!
Rory: This isn't working! Marco!
Lane: Polo!
Rory: (walking around) Marco!
Lane: Polo!
Rory: (finds Lane) Hello, Marco!
Lane: Hello, Polo!
Rory: Is it hard to become a member here?
Richard: Everyone has to go through a thorough screening process.
Rory: Kind of like the FBI?
Richard: We're much more thorough than that.
Lorelai: Work.
Rory: Life.
Lorelai: Dig it man.
Rory: Peace out Humphrey.
Lorelai: Sorry I woke you up.
Rory: That's okay, it's all fodder for the tell all.
Rory: I can't be late on my first day of school. Do you know what happens to people when they're late on their first day?
Lorelai: It's shorter?
Rory: For the rest of the year, they're labeled "The Late Girl."
Lorelai: How dramatic.
