Rory Gilmore Quotes
Rory: [about Lane's backpack] I got it, we can go.
Lorelai: Why are you holding it like that?
Rory: Because when Lane left it here last night it was a very different color.
Lorelai: Are you sure she's gonna want that back? It's been left alone all night at a keg party, there's no getting it over that. That backpack is permanently scarred, that backpack is Zelda Fitzgerald.
Lorelai: So, not only did you GO to a cop raided party, but you were the cause of the fight that caused the raid!
Rory: Yes...
Lorelai: [singing] Did you ever know that you're my heeero. You're everything I wish I could be!
Rory: So you mean someone broke into our house, went past our TV, our stereo and our jewelry, then headed straight for the booster club cashbox, took $18 and left the rest?
Lorelai: Some burglars aren't as greedy as others.
Rory: Ok, what's the packing crisis?
Lorelai: That's the thing. I have no packing crisis. For the first time in my life, there is no packing crisis.
Rory: (very sleepy) You set my alarm for 5:15 AM.
Lorelai: I know, and I did it for purely practical reasons.
Rory: Which are?
Lorelai: My alarm is just not as reliable as your scream.
Paris: (to Rory) Don't make that face at me!
Rory: What face? I'm wearing a mask.
Paris: The "I'm Rory, don't you want to pet me?" face.
(Lorelai and Emily are talking about the broken button on Emily's skirt)
Emily: I don't believe it. This is a brand new skirt.
Lorelai: Mom, let me see.
Emily: I have this dinner to go tonight. What am I going to do?
Lorelai: Drink a lot. It's easier to explain not wearing a skirt if you're falling down drunk.
Rory: What is that stuff?
Lane: Eggless egg salad. Though this year my mom added food coloring to make the egg-like product look more eggy.
Rory: Smart.
Lane: And every sandwich comes with your own personal pamphlet "Dancing for the Devil", an illustrated look at the effect of dancing on your chances of spending all eternity in hell.
Rory: Boy, her flames are getting really good.
Lane: Well, she just bought a new color printer. You can do a ton of stuff with it.
Rory: Oh, a girl told me once that if your scalp is hurting, drink a 7-Up. It has something to do with the fizz.
Lane: The Kim household does not have soft drinks!
Rory: Well, what do you have?
Lane: Something called salad water, imported from Korea. Trust me, it's nothing like 7-Up!
Paris: I can't do this.
Rory: What?
Paris: Date. I can't date. I'm not genetically set up for it.
Rory: Not true.
Paris: I get no pleasure out of the prospect or the preparation. I'm covered in hives, I've showered four times, and for what? Some guy who doesn't even have the brains to buy a Zagat so we don't wind up in a restaurant that's really just a front for a cocaine laundering ring?
Lorelai Gilmore: [fitting Rory's new dress] Maybe we should bring it in a bit more.
Rory: Oh, sure, but first why don't you use a medieval torture instrument to crush my ribs and flatten my spinal cord in order to accommodate your sadistic wishes.
Lorelai Gilmore: Don't use subtlety on us, we're slow.
Rory: Louise, what is your grandmother wearing to graduation?
Louise: Hopefully the pearls I get when she kicks.
