Quotes
I love all God's creatures, even certain Jews.
Wilfred
When one walks with the Lord, Ryan, one's tail is always wagging.
Wilfred
Wilfred: It was Jesus!
Ryan: And Jesus stole my radio?
Wilfred: The Lord works in mysterious ways.
Holy shit. Marley and Me is a really sad movie. God, why was I laughing the whole time?
Wilfred
I'm pretty sure they were dead. I looked everywhere for them.
Wilfred
Here's me looking out the window at absolutely nothing. I did that for like four or five hours.
Wilfred
Ryan: So, who won the rape fight?
Wilfred: Just drive, please.
The idea of watching you die seemed, I don't know, orgasmic?
Stinky (to Ryan)
Wilfred: You like to scream hateful shit at cuckoo birds too?
Stinky: Of course. They burst out of their homes and run off their mouths!
Wilfred: And then when shit's about to get real, they run back inside like the little pussies they are.
What happens if my old owner wants me back? I'd want me back. I mean, look at this shit.
Wilfred
Maybe I'm magical. Maybe you're crazy. The answers will come in good time.
Wilfred
The first step to me getting better is finally understanding that this isn't actually happening.
Ryan