I never said I was a good man, but one can receive good advice from a bad person.

Gideon [to Mary]

Jerry: The concept was genius, but the operation was an epic fail.
Chin: Only because it sounds like a plan concocted by Wylie Coyote.

Russo: Hey, check this out.
Steve: What was inside?
Russo: Cyanide
Steve: Cyanide?
Russo: I know, crazy right? The secret bunker, the World War II pistol, the kill pill, and the ring with the in compartment, this is some real secret agent stuff.

Hit by a bus, that's supposed to be, like you know, a metaphor. You actually get hit by a bus it means things are lined up against you.

Frank

Do good work. Come back safe.

Frank

Chin: You look like you just saw a ghost.
Steve: Rough commute.

Steve: Well, the morning's yours Aunt Deb, what do you want to do?
Aunt Deb: What do I want to do? I want to drive your truck.
Steve: What?
Aunt Deb: Your pickup truck, I want to take that bad boy for a spin.

Kono: Do you think they're...um
Grover: Knockin' em? Oh yeah

I can't accept an alibi from anyone with that particular hairstyle.

Sherlock

I was mistaken. You don't know what my partner looks like naked.

Sherlock

Lack of witnesses won't be a problem -- they're us.

Sherlock

Marcus was here, I took a shower, so obviously we're secret lovers.

Joan