Archer

Mondays 10:00 PM on FX
Archer
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
Try it Now for Free and Instantly Watch Archer.

Archer: For what it's worth, we all kinda liked you the way you were.
Pam: Really?
Archer: Well, we hated you less. You kinda turned into a ginormous asshole.

How hot am I now? Let me answer that for you. AS BALLS.

Pam

Pam: That's pretty ironic, huh?
Archer: No Pam, once again you're confusing the word "ironic" with "you are an idiot!"

Pam: Oh my God, I can't feel my face!
Archer: Gee Pam, I wonder if that has anything to do with your cocaine-only diet!

Pam: I switched the coke in Little Rock, cause I was worried that...
Archer: That because of your fat blabbering mouth, Lana would get caught with it and have to have her baby in prison, OR because you were low on cupcakes!?

People who like you because you have cocaine aren't people you want as friends, Pam! And not to sound elitist, but neither are people who need a roll of quarters to take a shower!

We're talking about Texas. Somebody somewhere wants enough cocaine to forget they live there.

That's gotta be a real knee to the old emotional nut sack.

Pam

Ray: This quit being funny two hours ago!
Krieger: It's not supposed to be funny.

Malory: If we miss that taping, I won't be responsible for my actions.
Lana: Are you ever?

We're going eastbound and down!

Airplane air is so dry, plus you're breathing in God knows what those tuberculars in coach are...excuse me!?

Malory
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 13 in total

Archer Season 5 Episode 5 Quotes

Airplane air is so dry, plus you're breathing in God knows what those tuberculars in coach are...excuse me!?

Malory

If you'll excuse me, I have to remove my underwear with a blow torch.

Ray
× Close Ad