Archer

Mondays 10:00 PM on FX
Archer
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Malory: Well, you're in charge here. I'm off to get a seaweed wrap.
Ray: I didn't know they made sushi with dried clams.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph Stalin! For the last time assholes, my name is....Shazam! How do you not remember that show?

Archer

Ray: To reiterate, I am paralyzed!
Cyril: Well, join a support group.
Malory: For who? Crippled gay hillbilly spies? There's a niche.

Archer: Did you just say Gay G B?
Cyril: Aww...do you think it's the mustache?
Ray: It's not helping.

Give it time. This isn't the Flintstones. We can't just wang him in the head with a frying pan!

Krieger

Archer: Oh my God!
Lana: What?
Archer: Michael Gray - was Billy Batson on Shazam!

Lana: Have you ever heard of ISIS?
Archer: From the Shazam/Isis Hour TV Show?

Ray: Ooh! Here's an idea. Why don't you just saw your God damned head off?
Cyril: Geez. What's up your butt?
Ray: Nothing is up my butt, Cyril. Oh, or maybe there is. I wouldn't know because I'm paralyzed from the waist down and it's Archer's fault!
Krieger: Uh, gettin' some mileage out of that, huh?

Malory: Duly noted and disregarded. And I expect you to be totally convincing.
Lana: As the damsel in distress? Have you ever met a woman less damselly?
Malory: Pam.

Displaying all 9 quotes

Archer Season 4 Episode 1 Quotes

Ray: Ooh! Here's an idea. Why don't you just saw your God damned head off?
Cyril: Geez. What's up your butt?
Ray: Nothing is up my butt, Cyril. Oh, or maybe there is. I wouldn't know because I'm paralyzed from the waist down and it's Archer's fault!
Krieger: Uh, gettin' some mileage out of that, huh?

Malory: Duly noted and disregarded. And I expect you to be totally convincing.
Lana: As the damsel in distress? Have you ever met a woman less damselly?
Malory: Pam.