Archer

Mondays 10:00 PM on FX
Archer
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
Try it Now for Free and Instantly Watch Archer.

Malory: So you do want the assignment?
Archer: What? Yeah I want it.
Malory: You really, really, really want it?
Archer: Yes I want it.
Malory: Well too bad, becuase guess what?
(Lana is standing in the doorway with her briefcase.)
Lana: (mocking) Ha-HA!
Archer: (outraged) What! Why does she get the mission!?
Malory: Because I said so, either way we have a plan to catch.
(Getting up to leave with Lana.)
Archer: WE!? Why are you going?
Malory: I'm...umm...uhhhh...(thinking of excuse) going to a conference?
Archer: (annoyed) Oh well isn't that convenient!?
Lana: If you think that's convenient, wait till you see my new kitchen.
Malory: HA! Seriously thou, you should look thru some of her design catalogue's.

Cyril crying about the thought of Lana and Archer back together
Pam: And that's why I don't sleep with co-workers. [Pause] That, and nobody let's me.
Dr. Creiger: I've had good results with ether.

(Cyril wonders why Lana hasn't called him yet)
Archer: (serious) Worse case scenario: Her covers been blown and Skorpio is now rapeing her sensless (everyone gasps horrified) before chopping her mangled corpse into Fish Chum.
Cyril: (hyperventilating) Oh my god!!
Carol: (appalled) How could you say that!?
Pam: What is wrong with you!!?
Dr. Creiger: (confused) He did say corpse right?
Archer: (defensive) What!? I said "worse case"

Sterling: (Looking into Lana's eyes) No they're, oh my god they're green, like emeralds. How did I never see that? Lana, your eyes are amazing.
Lana: (Sighs, leans in to kiss) Archer.
Sterling: I mean, not compared to your tits but.
(Lana shoots Sterling in the foot)

(Lana's going away on a mission)
Cyril: Isnt it sudden you going on this mission?
Lana: Noooo....Sudden is wanting your girlfriend to move in with you after only 4 months.
Cyril: (defensive) Just talking about it...and by the way I moved in with my last girlfriend after only 4 weeks.
Lana: (stopping next to Malory, Sterling, Carol and Pam) What are you a lesbian?
Pam: Why would you be into that? (group plus Cyril and Lana turn to stare) Just curious, which was an odd word choice right there and am I talking out loud..

Displaying all 5 quotes

Archer Season 1 Episode 6 Quotes

Cyril crying about the thought of Lana and Archer back together
Pam: And that's why I don't sleep with co-workers. [Pause] That, and nobody let's me.
Dr. Creiger: I've had good results with ether.

Malory: So you do want the assignment?
Archer: What? Yeah I want it.
Malory: You really, really, really want it?
Archer: Yes I want it.
Malory: Well too bad, becuase guess what?
(Lana is standing in the doorway with her briefcase.)
Lana: (mocking) Ha-HA!
Archer: (outraged) What! Why does she get the mission!?
Malory: Because I said so, either way we have a plan to catch.
(Getting up to leave with Lana.)
Archer: WE!? Why are you going?
Malory: I'm...umm...uhhhh...(thinking of excuse) going to a conference?
Archer: (annoyed) Oh well isn't that convenient!?
Lana: If you think that's convenient, wait till you see my new kitchen.
Malory: HA! Seriously thou, you should look thru some of her design catalogue's.