Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXArcher Quotes
Of course i'm not going to be a pirate, i'm going to be a pirate king.
Sterling
Rip: You just killed like ten pirates.
Sterling: Wow, if the five year old me knew that, he'd get a huge boner.
Rip: Those could be pirates.
Sterling: Okay, well then they'll do just have to do until we find some cowboys and indians.
Sterling: A ruse? Hi, it's 1930s, can have our words, and clothes, and shitty plane back?
Rip: Let's go, kid.
Sterling: Call you back, 1930s. And, hey, watch out for that Adolf Hitler. He's a bad egg.
Archer: So excuse me for needing some time to grieve.
Rip: By tending bar and banging newly weds?
Archer: Apparently that's my grieving process.
Pam: What a hunk
Cheryl: Total sploosh.
Lana: Yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
Gillette: And whatever my equivalent of sploosh. Which I guess is just sploosh. Only with semen.
Did you watch Regis this morning?
You know there is probably something I should learn from this but I... AWWW SHIT MY RUG!
Sterling Archer
Archer: Why the hell are you crying?
Krieger: That was my van.
One for three off the roof, bitch!
Barry
Barry: Besides sodomizing my ex-fiancee...
Archer: Only by the strictest legal definition.
If I stop drinking all at once, I'm afraid the cumulative hangover will kill me.
