"Well, if I didn't just serve up toe jam on an idiot cracker."

Roxy

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"Girl nearly stripped her clutch when she saw me."

Roxy

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"You being out this morning is five shades of stupid."

Roxy

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"Maybe you're realizing that when we got married, you didn't know me from Adam's housecat."

Roxy [to Trevor]

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"You are bringing the sexy, by the way."

Roxy [to Claudia Joy]

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"My favorite designer is the Goodwill."

Roxy

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"I'm so attracted to him, I ovulate like a slot machine."

Roxy

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Roxy: "She's had so many names — my pink sea, mound of Venus, Shirley — but now I'm going with RCan: Rattlesnake Canyon."

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Roxy: "Two words: e-nough!

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Roxy: [to Denise]: "Hits you once, hit him back. Hits you a second time, shoot him in the balls."

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"I choose all of you. Thank you for being my family."

Roxy

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Michael Holden: Claudia Joy Holden, after 17 years of marriage my heart still skips a beat every time I look at you.
Claudia Joy Holden: Michael James Holden, after 17 years of marriage I can't believe that tired old line of yours still works.

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