Favorite Arrested Development Quotes
Michael: Let me tell you something. You may not be a father, but you are my brother.
Gob: I might be a father.
Michael: Mom wanted me to tell you that she doesn't care whether you live or die, but if you're not dead, she would like to see you at the courthouse tomorrow in a blue sweater.
Buster: Damn it! I hate the blue sweater.
Michael: She said it would look nice with the grey pants.
Buster: Damn it! She's right.
(to Michael) Tell you what. You may not be good with women, but you are great with other people's women. I'll give you that.
Gob
Gob: Lie to her. Tell her that I'm insensitive and unreliable.
Michael: Maybe something about how you can never confront people and you need someone else to clean up your messes.
Gob: See, that's great ... And that's just off the top of your head.
Narrator: And Michael tried to find the money the accountant said was missing.
George Sr.: I don't know. I probably stole it. I mean, if he says it's missing, it is. Unless he stole it. Hey, maybe he stole it.
Michael: He's the one who said it's missing.
George Sr.: Yeah, I probably stole it.
George Sr.: Gilligan has promised me that all this money will be safe in IRAs.
Ira Gilligan: It's Ira, sir.
George Sr.: Oh, I'm sorry, Gilligan. Will be safe in Ira's.
Gob's Wife: Gob. I want out. I'm in love with your brother ...
Gob: What?! (turns to Michael) You did it again, you son of a bitch! (punches and knocks out Michael)
Gob's Wife: ... In-law. Tobias. Sorry. I should have finished that thought.
(Sees Buster and the stripper both knocked out)
Michael: I'm calling the cops.
Gob: No!
Bix: We're changing again, guys.
Gob: No. No cops!
George Michael: The-the problem I'm having is, uh ... I have a pretty finely tuned internal clock ...
Michael: Mm-hmm.
George Michael: ... Which is actually why I'm such a good natural percussionist ...
(Maeby walks down to see her parents fighting)
Lindsay: I'm saying everytime something starts to go well for you, you blow it.
Tobias: Nothing has ever gone well for me and you know it!
Lindsay: That's my point, you ... (sees Maeby) ... handsome cowboy, you.
Tobias: Oh, great. And now you're mocking me. You selfish c... (sees Maeby) ... ountry-music-loving lady.
Michael: You're making Dad your best man? That's great. I guess being your brother and solving all your problems for you doesn't qualify me as your best man.
Gob: Hey, if he wants to support me, I'm not going to tell him to go to hell. Don't worry. You're still ...
Michael: What, invited?
Gob: No, I was going to say you're still the guy I want solving my problems. But, yeah, let me talk to Dad about that invite ... Situation.
I've got the marriage and none of the good parts. It's like so far, it's been all chain and no ball.
Gob
