Lindsay: What happened to you?
Tobias: (with a bandage wrap on his head) What? Oh, oh! My ears. The doctor said I can't go to sleep for five hours, or I might die or something. (to George Michael) Oh! I got blown! So, I can't sleep!

Al: Need a hand with that?
Gob: No, Al, I want to spill booze all over my freaking $6,300 suit. Come on on!!

(about Lucille) Sounds tense. That means she's not getting any from my brother Oscar.

George Sr.

Gob: God, how they used to laugh with me.
Michael: At you.

(underneath Lucille's car) Hey, it's Tobias...who wants to take me to the hospital?

Tobias

Lucille: Michael, I was almost attacked last night in my own home! I walk in and there's a colored man in my kitchen!
Michael: Colored? What color was he, exactly?
Lucille: Blue.

And please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of inter-office *BLEEP*ing, or *BLEEP*ing, or finger-*BLEEP*ing, or *BLEEP*ing or *BLEEP*ing, or even *BLEEP*, even though so many people in this office are begging for it. And if anybody does anything with my sister Lindsay, I'll take off my pants, I'll shave my *BLEEP*, and I'll personally *BLEEP*.

</i> Gob

(about wearing his father's clothes) But I did finally get into Dad's pants. Although I had to have the crotch taken in a little bit.

Gob

Oscar: The question is, which way do I try to get it in her?
Michael: I don't need any details.
Oscar: Maybe, I'll put it in her brownie.
Michael: Hey!

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