Arrested Development Season 1 Episode 13: "Beef Consomme" Quotes
Barry Zuckerkorn: It would help if you would all show up looking like a loving, supportive family.
Lucille: For how long?
Barry Zuckerkorn: Ten minutes tops.
Lucille: See if you can get it down to five.
(Maeby walks down to see her parents fighting)
Lindsay: I'm saying everytime something starts to go well for you, you blow it.
Tobias: Nothing has ever gone well for me and you know it!
Lindsay: That's my point, you ... (sees Maeby) ... handsome cowboy, you.
Tobias: Oh, great. And now you're mocking me. You selfish c... (sees Maeby) ... ountry-music-loving lady.
You're a good guy, mon frre. That means "brother" in French. I don't know why I know that. I took four years of Spanish!Gob
That's one of the things that attracted me to you; your sense of right and wrong. I also like your hair and your face and your breasts.Michael
(Michael remembers he has to appear in court to support his father)
Michael: My father's ... hearing.
Marta: With my father, it is the vision.
George Michael: Uncle Gob, was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant?
Gob: Yeah, sure, dozens of times.
Michael: I got to tell Gob.
Marta: No, I have to tell him.
Michael: Yes, but-but you-you speak a little slowly, and I really want to get this thing moving along. So, listen. You do the noble thing, and you tell him you've met someone else. I'm going to do the noble thing, and tell him that it's me. While I'm doing my noble thing, you could put those photos in a box, get rid of the wand, and we can do the wrong thing the right way.
Marta: You sound like your brother.
Michael: Oh, thank you.
Marta: Gob is like the cock of the walk, but not you. You are so kind. You're sensitive, like a woman.
Michael: That's enough.
Michael: I owe you an apology.
Marta: No, I owe you an apology. I'm so ashamed that I was so disrespectful to your brother.
Michael: Oh, who cares? Nobody respects him.
Tobias: When a man needs to prove to a woman that he's actually ... When a man loves a woman, and he actually wants to make love to her, something very, very special happens. And with deep, deep concentration and great focus he is often able to achieve an erec --
George Michael: I'm sorry, I'm going to stop you here.
Gob: Hey, guy ... They tell me you're the actor who plays Marta's brother Tio.
Gob: You're going to be in a como, all right.
(to Michael) Tell you what. You may not be good with women, but you are great with other people's women. I'll give you that.Gob