Lucille: I think he's being sarcastic, Gob.
Buster/Larry: No, I'm not, mother. I mean, lover. I like making love to mother ... I mean, lover.
Gob: Oh, my god, Buster. Is that you?
Buster/Larry: ... Yes.

Bob: Somebody tipped them off that the property wasn't ready for building
Lucille:Which it would have been if Michael wasn't so busy with his English muffin.
Gob: Typical.
Buster: Delicious.
Lucille: I need a drink.
Buster: I'll take an English muffin.

Michael: I was at the property the Japanese funded today. The whole backside has moles.
Tobias: That's Frank's problem, too.

Michael: What's the surrogate doing here?
George Sr./Larry: We're meeting with the lawyers, so I've hired this guy to be my eyes and ears.
Michael: You know, dad, this guy costs us a fortune.
Larry: He's worth every penny.
George Sr.: Hey, I didn't say that.

(Talking about Rita)
Michael: You know she's amazing. You know she was in the Olympics?!
Narrator: She wasn't.
Lindsay: She's that Rita Leeds? Wasn't she on the cover of Newsweek?
Narrator: No.
Michael: Yes.

Tobias: I barely even know you! Who's Frank?
Frank: Well, I've been wanting to talk to you about that, but it's a little awkward.
Tobias: Oh, well, I've been wanting to have my own awkward talk as well.
Frank: I think we could be more than just gym buddies.
Tobias: You're blowing my mind, Frank.

Gob: Hey, maybe that's it. Maybe we should do to the Japanese what they do in their movies. Build a miniature city, put it outside the window, tell them it's far away. It'll look real if you squint. God knows they're squinters. (looks at Larry the surrogate) What do you think, dad? A whole, tiny town.
George Sr./Larry: Another brilliant idea, Einstein.
Gob: Really? You'd like to build it with me?
George Sr./Larry: Larry really never knows how to sell the sarcasm. It's a stupid idea.

I will be a bigger and hairier mole than the one on your inner left thigh!

Tobias

George Michael: (Opening a present) Quicken Premier! Dad, I hope you kept the receipt.
Michael: You want to return that?
George Michael: What? No, I want to deduct it!

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