Lucille: Give me a vodka rocks.
Michael: Mom, it's breakfast.
Lucille: And a piece of toast.

George Michael: Wow, you're president again?
Michael: Yes, this is the way it should be. What do you think of when you hear the words "Sudden Valley?"
George Michael: Salad dressing, I think. For some reason, I don't want to eat it.
Michael: Right, but "Paradise Gardens?"
George Michael: Yeah, I could see marinating a chicken.

Tobias: No, I can't... I have an audition tomorrow. I'm up for a minor, but meaty role in a feature film: Confidence Man 2.
Gob: Oh yeah? I didn't see the first Confidence Man.
Tobias: No... 'Confidence Man 2' is my character.

Gob: One of this guy's eyebrows just fell in the bowl of candy beans.
Sitwell: I always carry a spare.
Gob: Well I hope you also carry a spare bowl of candy beans!

Sitwell: The only thing I ask is out of the four hundred and fifty homes we build, one be given to a disadvantaged family from the inner city.
Gob: That's great, so the other 449 families live in fear? Is that what we're saying? Come on!

Michael: (about Sitwell) He happens to be a very modest and generous man.
Lucille: Modest and generous? Then why is he always waving giant ten million dollar checks over his head every time some...
Michael: Go ahead, Mom, finish your thought. Every time some children's hospital needs funding?
Lucille: Nonetheless.

Lucille: I've done everything I can. I even tried to convince them he's [Buster] gay, but no one would believe that a woman like me would have a gay son.
Michael: Well you certainly tried. You guys wore matching outfits until he was twelve.

Michael, I'm your big brother. I'll never be impressed with you.


Michael: Let's make Ann the back up. Ok? Very good way to think of her as a back up.
George Michael: She's gonna be so excited.
Michael: Good.
George Michael: Maybe ... Maybe now I'll get a kiss.
Michael: Ok. (kisses George Michael)
George Michael: Oh ... I meant from Ann.
Michael: Yes, I know. I just want to get in there first.

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