Tobias: Oh, God, here she is.
Michael: Next to that guy?
Tobias: What guy?
Michael: That guy.
Tobias: No, that's her.
Michael: Him?
Tobias: That's a girl. I think the name "Michael" is making you look for a man.
Michael: I think I'm looking at a man.

The real problem is she keeps saying God is going to show me a sign, the ... something of my ways ... wisdom?

Gob

Michael: I-I'm not interested in you that way.
Tobias: What way?
Michael: Pick one.

Doctor: You could be a groom. Bring a little girlfriend up there with you.
George Michael: Oh, I don't have a girlfriend.
Doctor: A sister then, or a cousin. 'Course, you're gonna have to kiss.
Narrator: Guess who liked that idea?

Brian: Hope you don't mind me saying, but these things can go on indefinitely. My mother's been in that bed for two years.
Lucille: (gasps) Oh, how awful. We don't have a private room.

(as Franklin) Like to see a whore that does that! (as himself) Not the carrying the weight part, but ... on the other hand, if it's free.

Gob

Oh, I love soup. If the only thing I could do was lay in bed all day and eat soup, I'd be happy. I wouldn't even have to taste it. I could just take it through a tube. That would actually be better 'cause I wouldn't even burn my mouth. (laughs softly) Never let me die.

Buster

Good. I ... great. I was just ... Well, don't answer for ... I, um, yeah. 'Cause I know exactly the cousin, I mean, the ... the girl I would want to give and she'll want give too. We'll ... and we'll do that together. For them, for the sake of ... I ju ... it's a great day. For being sad.

George Michael

George Sr.: Who's on the list? Any blabbers?
Michael: Well, they've got one guy who won't be talking. That is unless there's a hand inside of him.
Tobias: Oh, please, Michael. Even then, I wouldn't say anything.

Michael: Hey. What's this?
Gob: Just practicing my testimony. Needed a fake witness box.
Michael: And you couldn't have just taken my stuff off the desk first, or unplugged my computer?
Gob: Justice is swift, Michael.

Franklin: My name is Judge.
Gob: Whose name is Judge?
Franklin: My name is.
Michael: Okay.
Gob: That's a silly name.
Michael: That's enough.
Franklin: Judge, my name.
Gob: Yes, I am judging your name. It am silly.
Franklin: Is.
Michael: Please stop.
Gob: Oh, now, you're correcting my grammar.

All they're doing in there is trying to keep people alive. It's a life mill!

Lindsay

Arrested Development Season 3 Quotes

Taste the tears, Michael.

Gob

Gob: (embracing Michael) Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it.
Michael: It tastes kind of like sad.