How the hell do you call this a safe house? The roaches are big enough to mug somebody.

Ernie

Do you know for the price of college I could set the kid up for his own small, little business instead?

Danny

Man, you do more for your family by 9am than my family's done for each other our entire lives.

Eddie

Diplomatic immunity should not be a free pass for brutality.

Sid

Well I’d like to beat the crap out of you, but guess what, sometimes we don’t always get what we want, do we?

Danny

Jamie: And he likes you because?
Eddie: Because who wouldn't?

I don't have a penis, so when I take out two armed perps, it's an assault on my date's manhood.

Eddie

Chicks, we're not suppose to be the heroes, we're suppose to be the damsels in distress waiting to be rescued by guys like you, not the ones doing the rescuing.

Eddie

We can't keep being each other's consolation prize, Jamie.

Eddie

This is and will always be an equal opportunity family and I will throw quiche and a hissy fit at anyone who says otherwise.

Frank

I thought you would have raised him better than to gulp down single malt.

Henry

Boots on the ground. There's no substitute.

Henry