It's dangerous to go cold turkey - I'm down to white wine.

Jonathan

These one hitters should really be called three hitters.

George

Jonathan: I still like the way pot makes me think - maybe it's healthy.
Suzanne: Pot is not healthy.
Jonathan: They give it to cancer patients.
Suzanne: You don't have cancer.
Jonathan: Not yet...

Jonathon: I can help people.
Ray: Are you delusional?

I have a real phobia around my ass.

Ray

Ray: You mind if I smoke pot in here?
George: Can I have some?

Ray: You can't do that. That's illegal.
Jonathan: I say that I'm not license. And that makes it more legal... ish.

Woman: You're the private cop?
Jonathan: Yes. Or detective. Or investigator. They all work.

I never should have started dating a woman with kids. I have to be the only child in a woman's life.

Ray

Men face reality. Women don't. That why men need to drink.

George

I've always been intrigued by Stockholm Syndrome. Make me think of my childhood.

Jonathon
Displaying all 11 quotes

Bored to Death Season 1 Episode 1 Quotes

Men face reality. Women don't. That why men need to drink.

George

I've always been intrigued by Stockholm Syndrome. Make me think of my childhood.

Jonathon
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