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Yousef: (looking at Jonathan's black eye then to Ray) Lovers quarrel?
Jonathan: Ummm...more or less.

(to Ray before his colonic) Don't be scared. It will a good experience for you, I promise. I am going to find all your treasures.

Yousef

Jonathan: God, that's the biggest herpes blister I've ever seen in my life.
George: Thank you. I'm very proud of it.

Jonathan: Oh my God, what the hell happened to your lip? You were stung by a bee?
George: Yes. A bee with herpes.

(Jennifer suspecting her boyfriend is cheating)
Jonathan: Are you sure?
Jennifer: That's what my therapist said. 'Are you sure?' Yes, I'm sure! God, it's like I'm surrounded by Holocaust deniers. It happened. I'm sure!

Jonathan: 'I love you more than you know. Jonathan.'
Suzanne: That was a nice note. But you don't have to read your name in the end.
Jonathan: I know. I'm very literal-minded. You know that.

Nobody's really loved for themselves. Are they? I mean, all love is projection.

George

When I'm with her, I'm going to eat vegan, but when I'm not with her, I'm going to eat like an American.

Ray
Displaying all 8 quotes

Bored to Death Season 1 Episode 2 Quotes

Nobody's really loved for themselves. Are they? I mean, all love is projection.

George

When I'm with her, I'm going to eat vegan, but when I'm not with her, I'm going to eat like an American.

Ray