Is vodka really made from potatoes?

Jonathan

(making zapping noises at an ice block) I'm zapping it like Ice Man in X-Men...from the Marvel Series.

Ray

Jonathan: I'm really hung over from that vodka.
Ray: Well, you gotta write something. I did my best work hung over. I have less brain cells to confuse the issue.

Jonathan: Sorry, George, what's up?
George: What if I do this and I don't come back?
Jonathan: What do you mean?
George: Tha-- that I turn completely gay.
Jonathan: Well, then it was meant to be.
George: (sighs) You know what, you're absolutely right!

Suzanne: I thought tonight was gonna be the Brighton Beach night we never had. Remember, that's what you told me? And I stupidly believed you. Instead, you drink vodka and you leave me alone while you chase after some Russian singer because you're investigating a case.
Jonathan: But I was doing it in the name of love. Somebody else's love, but--
Suzanne: You weren't doing this for anybody else but you. You're selfish. You live in a selfish fantasy world.

Jonathan: Irenna?
Irenna: Yes. And you're the private cop?
Jonathan: Yes. Or detective. Or investigator. They all work.

I love the Board Walk. It reminds me of the Black Sea. Only I wish the girls were topless like in Russia. In America, people are shy and disturbed. I don't know, why be scared of the naked breast?

Dimitri

(to Jonathan) I hope your heart is broken many times because it means you would have loved many times.

Dimitri

Jonathan: Your therapist sounds crazy!
George: I know, I know, but most therapists are. That's what gives them insight.

Dimitri: If you want to keep a woman, you have to be strong. Women need us to be commanding and decisive.
Jonathan: But do they? I don't know. Maybe they do.
Dimitri: They don't.

(to George) If you want to open your mind... don't think in terms of male and female. I mean, it's binary. It's-- it's boring. How about no definition?

Escort

Jonathan: How long were you with her?
Dimitri: One night.
Jonathan: Just one night?
Dimitri: Oh, one night, if the love is perfect, is all you need.
Jonathan: Hmm.
Dimitri: Also, I was arrested the next day.

Displaying all 12 quotes

Bored to Death Season 1 Episode 5 Quotes

(to George) If you want to open your mind... don't think in terms of male and female. I mean, it's binary. It's-- it's boring. How about no definition?

Escort

Jonathan: How long were you with her?
Dimitri: One night.
Jonathan: Just one night?
Dimitri: Oh, one night, if the love is perfect, is all you need.
Jonathan: Hmm.
Dimitri: Also, I was arrested the next day.

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