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Jake: It's the most fun day of the year, something you wouldn't understand because you're not programmed to feel joy.
Holt: Yes, but my software is due for an exuberance upgrade.
- Permalink: Yes, but my software is due for an exuberance upgrade.
"Cwazy" with a W, a backwards W.Gina
- Permalink: "Cwazy" with a W, a backwards W.
I have a sexy voice! Champagne. Mountain Range. Hugs.Jake
- Permalink: I have a sexy voice! Champagne. Mountain Range. Hugs.
Jake: How many times do I have to say it, she's like a sister.
Boyle: That's what Luke said about Leia!
Jake: Hey! Luke didn't know! No one knew!
- Permalink: Hey! Luke didn't know! No one knew!
Rosa: Right, that's the guy you said the lame stuff about, like he's a good listener.
Amy: Sorry, what do you look for in a guy?
Rosa: Real stuff, like the shape of his ass
- Permalink: Real stuff, like the shape of his ass
Jake: I'm gonna make a great dad.
Amy: Not even gonna touch that.
Jake: The Amy Santiago story.
- Permalink: The Amy Santiago story.
When it comes to shooting patterns, I like to go PB&J. Penis, Brain, Jaw.Jake
That's my plan for dealing with everything. I have 77 arguments that I'm gonna win that way.Rosa
Terry: Talk to him, that's what friends do!
Rosa: Nope. I'm gonna wait till I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately.
Terry: Scully, I want you to do nothing. Just stand next to me and say, "Yes, Sarge."
Scully: Okay, Sarge.
Terry: Come on, man.
- Permalink: Come on, man.
Almost makes me wanna take things seriously all the time, but then I'm like, "boobs, farts, boobs, whatever."Jake
Boyle: You wanna know why she went out with him and not you?
Boyle: Because he actually asked her out.
- Permalink: Because he actually asked her out.