Jake: Go back to robot captain!
Holt: Meep morp. Zeep.

These have been the best years of my career, and I know that every one of you gave me everything you had. And I will never forget it.


Amy: NYPD, freeze! We are police colleagues!
Jake: You're under arrest! This is a work event!

Wuntch: I see you got an audience for this little stunt.
Holt: Yes, well, who wouldn't want to see a man fight a crocodile.

Jake: Okay, you and Rosa follow Augustine.
Charles: Right! And you and Amy follow your hearts.
Jake: No! We're going to stay with the package.
Charles: And each other, forever.
Jake: Come on, man!

You guys are so naive, it's never nothing!


Who cares about a kiss. Call me if you grab each other's asses.


Charles: Why are you being weird?
Jake: Amy and I kissed.
Charles: WHAT!?!
Amy: To keep our cover from being being blown, we didn't have a choice.
Charles: Tell me EVERYTHING!!

Jake: We were just looking for a place to -
Amy: Boink!
Jake: Yep. Boink. That's my preferred term for it as well.

Holt: Care to sit? I'm sure you'd like to take some weight off your cloven hooves.
Wuntch: Calling me the devil? How original.
Holt: Actually I was calling you a goat. You goat.

Now get me Madeline! And a bucket of water. It's time to melt a witch.


I'll distract the file clerk. Apparently he's really into bird-watching, so talking to a woman should blow his mind. And talking to this woman? It could kill him.


Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

Jake: So talk to me Goose, how are we lookin'?
Gina: Sexy, but not like we're trying to, but like, sure we're trying, but it's almost effortless?

“The Squad” is the best book I ever read, and I’ve read 15 books.