I'd give you a hug, but right now my body has the structural integrity of a chocolate souffle.

Jake

Terry: Jake! Are you okay!?
Jake: No, Sarge, I got hit by a car!

Amy: All I wanted to do was impress Captain Holt, and you know what, it didn't matter. It didn't matter that we were late, it didn't matter that I was chill, it didn't matter that the rats ate my salad.
Gina: Oh no, I definitely saw them running away from it.

Holt: Are your bosoms tender?
Rosa: I'm gonna pretend you didn't ask me that.
Holt: Are your senses heightened?
Rosa: I think I might be pregnant, not bitten by a radioactive spider.

Amy, all your cooking stinks, why would you even get involved with tuna and eggs?

Gina

Terry: You wiped out hard.
Jake: It wasn't so much a wipe out as it was a controlled power fall.

Jake: I wish you hadn't read that Annie Leibowitz book.
Charles: Quit calling it a book! It was a visual journey!

You are the most incompetent detectives I've ever seen. And I'm including the bomb-sniffing dog who keeps humping all the bombs!

Charles

If you guys won't help me, I'll just get myself off! Context. Context was important on that one.

Jake

Go home, have a beer and smash something. That's what I would do.

Rosa

Rosa: Wow, you've pissed off a lot of people.
Jake: Well, that's what happens when you live out loud.

Rosa: You never told me Sinbad lived in your building.
Jake: If Sinbad lived in my building, I'd have a tattoo on my head that said "Sinbad lives in my building".