Holt: Count me in. I could really use this day off to spend some time with my husband.
Rosa: Please, we all have loved ones. You're not getting any sympathy 'cause you're gay.
Jake: Rosa, I don't think he was--
Holt: No I was. She saw right through me.

• Permalink: No I was. She saw right through me.
• Added: February 18, 2020

Charles: It's my time to shine. It's my Greatest Showman moment.
Jake: Charles, you can't.
Charles: You know who else they told you can't? Lettie Lutz, bearded lady. Then Mr. Barnum gave her a stage. Give me my stage, Jacob.
Jake: Wait, so you're the bearded lady?
Charles: No, I'm Barnum, you're Zac Efron and everyone else is one of my freaks!

• Permalink: No, I'm Barnum, you're Zac Efron and everyone else is one of my freaks!
• Added: February 18, 2020

Charles: Debbie, I was once like you. A bashful beat cop with long, curly hair and no confidence at all.
Debbie: That's impossible. You're so suave.

• Permalink: That's impossible. You're so suave.
• Added: February 18, 2020

Terry: Actually, I wanna record them. Maybe you can teach other precincts how to throw their own versions to boost morale.
Jake: No, I'm not a teacher! I'm a class-clown-slash-bad-boy with a heart of gold.

• Permalink: No, I'm not a teacher! I'm a class-clown-slash-bad-boy with a heart of gold.
• Added: February 18, 2020

Amy: You're pretty hurt, huh?
Jake: Yeah! It's exciting. I'm the underdog now, like Seabiscuit. I mean sure I can't lift my arms but Seabiscuit won without even having arms.
Amy: What are you talking about?
Jake: I don't know, I fell. We're already married, it doesn't matter.

• Permalink: I don't know, I fell. We're already married, it doesn't matter.
• Added: February 18, 2020

I'm sorry I messed things up. I'm just not cut out for this high-stakes world of having friends.

Debbie

• Permalink: I'm sorry I messed things up. I'm just not cut out for this high-stakes world of having...
• Added: February 18, 2020