I got a new job! I sit behind white CEOs when they have to testify before Congress so they don't look racist.

Doug Judy

• Permalink: I got a new job! I sit behind white CEOs when they have to testify before Congress so they...
• Added: March 19, 2020

Jake: I just got outta jail. Five years.
Chuck: Tough sentence, what'd you do?
Jake: Elder abuse. Got my grandpa good, so.
Chuck: Damn, that's very upsetting.

• Permalink: Damn, that's very upsetting.
• Added: March 19, 2020

Jake: Are you sure this is culturally okay for me?
Judy: We're gonna find out.

• Permalink: We're gonna find out.
• Added: March 19, 2020

Trudy: He's probably here to arrest Chuck.
Jake: I would never arrest Chuck. But I mean, why'd you say that? What did Chuck do?
Trudy: Woooooow. Cops always be coppin'.

• Permalink: Woooooow. Cops always be coppin'.
• Added: March 19, 2020

Jake: I think "Reverse Heist" would make for a great movie and I already have the tagline: This summer, there are takebacks.

• Permalink: This summer there are takebacks.
• Added: March 19, 2020

You're the most consistent person in my life Peralta. I can always count on you.

Doug Judy

• Permalink: You're the most consistent person in my life Peralta. I can always count on you.
• Added: March 19, 2020