Chuck Season 2 Episode 14: "Chuck Versus the Best Friend" Quotes
Sarah: I wanted to apologize. I could've been more sensitive before about your friendship with Morgan. It's just...it's difficult. I don't really have anyone in my life like that who cares about me.
Chuck: Yeah, you do.
Jeff: This is what we've always wanted for Jeffster; we started a small venue like this, pretty soon where playing the big time.
Lester: Yeah, sure we're gonna blow their minds but uh...where's all this lead? Stadium, groupies, drugs, creative differences and then what? Jeffster breaks up, that's you and me, Jeff, and then what's my fate? Some chamber maid finds me in a hotel having accidentally asphyxiated making love to myself? It's just not worth it.
(The Buy More gang are spying on Anna)
Chuck: Would you just stop and think about what you're doing for a second.
Morgan: Chuck, I know exactly what I'm doing, brother, I'm getting answers, man.
Chuck: Yeah, but...but there are other ways of doing that.
Lester: Yeah, no absolutely. We tried cloning Anna's cell but she's got a CDMA carrier, so we couldn't copy the SIM card.
Chuck: You okay? You really had me worried.
Morgan: I'm so embarrassed. I can't even get my ass kicked with any dignity.
(as Morgan is lifted out of the box) I got a great idea. He can hitch a ride with the Ambassador. Kill two birds with one bomb.
Lau
Chuck: Look, Sarah, I don't have parents. I mean, not really. I don't talk about it because that's just the way things are now. But it wasn't always this way. Morgan was there the first day that my mom took off. He didn't say much because, honestly, what is a fifth grader supposed to say? But we sat there and split a cherry cheesecake and played Legend of Zelda all night long. And my dad, well that's a whole other story, but Morgan was there for that too. Morgan is more than just my best friend. He's my family. Before you got here, and long after you've gone, Morgan is my family.
Sarah: Last night we failed to learn the contents of the Triad's container. And now we don't know what kind of drugs or weapons are floating around in the city. And while I appreciate your friendship with Morgan, losing sight of that container endangers many people's best friends, not just yours, Chuck.
Jeff: You got any idea what Ellie and Awesome thought about Jeffster? I mean, we didn't fully play out, but if you could put in a good word...?
Chuck: Jeff, I don't understand anything that just came out of your mouth, but the truth is, I don't care. I know that you think my concerns are no bigger than the weekend weather or whatever's new in the snack machine, but I have the weight of the damn world on my shoulders. So, if you don't mind, figure out your own crap.
Chuck: Wait a minute. You guys have a band?
Jeff: Jeff.
Lester: Lester.
Jeff and Lester: (together) Jeffster!
Chuck: That seems very fitting.
Jeff: Originally, we were going to go with the name Jester, but we didn't want people to associate us with a couple of fools.
General Beckman: Chuck. Use your social connection to infiltrate the suspect.
Chuck: Um. Excuse me, General, but just to clarify, you want me to befriend my best friend's ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend?
Beckman: Now, if you excuse me, I am late for my evening plans.
Chuck: Uh, General...um...if you don't mind me asking, what is...what is exactly your version of evening plans?
Casey: Bartowski!
Beckman: It's not top secret, Major, I'm meeting Condoleeza for Cosmos...even I have friends.
Chuck: Actually, you know what. I've been thinking.
Casey: Stop that.
Chuck: If our mission is to betray Morgan, I think we should have a second mission to convince Anna of what she's missing without him.
Casey: There's only one mission here, moron.
Chuck: Oh! Moron, that's...you know, sticks and stones may break my bones.
Casey: Wanna test that theory, Bartowski?
Chuck: Not particularly.
Jeff: Does it shock you that 80% of my encounters with women have been completely without their knowledge?
Chuck: Honestly, I'm more surprised by the other 20%, Jeff.
