Chuck

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Chuck "Chuck Versus the Colonel" Quotes

Roark: Oh, great, gang's all here. Only fair that a son should see the results of his father's labor. Of course, if this doesn't work, I'm afraid I have to go back to that bit where I kill everybody.
Chuck: What if it does work?
Roark: If it does work? Same result, but, you know, you should root for it, I mean, nobody likes a cynic.
• Rating: Unrated

Casey: (Seeing surveillance of Devon locked-down in his apartment) I hate this whole family!
• Rating: Unrated

Jeff: You wanna see something really freaky? (They break into Casey's locker) Dude keeps a Chuck diary.
Lester: Bathroom visits. And duration.
Jeff: Keys, duct tape, high-grade chloroform.
Devon: Whoa.
Jeff: From one stalker to another, I'm impressed.
Devon: You guys think this has something to do with Chuck missing?
Lester: I don't care.
Jeff: No clue. You mind if I, uh, get right? (He takes a hit of chloroform and passes out)
• Rating: Unrated

Emmett: Friends... (giggles) I wish people in our line of work could afford friends. That's just one of the sacrifices of upper management!
(He giggles and spins in his chair)
Morgan: Yeah well, Big Mike is my friend, and I never would have betrayed him if you hadn't tricked me.
Emmett: Really? Do all your friends give your mother urinary tract infections? Listen, Grimes. I am offering you a cup of the corporate ladder. Now, I need a new assistant manager. (He leans in) Will you be my "ass man"?
• Rating: Unrated

Beckman: The safety of the Intersect is no longer my main concern. I want you to hunt Agent Walker and the asset down. Bring them back, dead or alive.
Casey: Understood, General.
Beckman: Once the Intersect is in our possession this mission will be over and you will have your pick of assignments. Your country thanks you, Colonel Casey. Congratulations. You've earned it.
• Rating: Unrated

Chuck: I'll, I'll sleep on the floor.
Sarah: No, it's okay.
(Sarah jumps into bed, while Chuck turns off the TV)
Chuck: Why are you doing this?
Sarah: Because the floor is gross and I'm not gonna make you sleep on it.
Chuck: No, I mean why are you here, risking everything that you worked so hard for?
Sarah: Because after everything that you've done for this country, you deserve to find your father, to get the Intersect out your head and to have a chance at a normal life.
Chuck: Thank you.
Sarah: You don't have to thank me, it's my job to protect you.
Chuck: What about when it's not your job? What happens to us then?
Sarah: One mission at a time, Chuck.
• Rating: Unrated

Casey: Going somewhere, Bartowski?
Chuck: No, no, we came back here for you because FULCRUM's here!
Casey: Well, then, we better get out of here.
Chuck: I'm not leaving without Sarah.
Casey: You drive, or I end you.
Chuck: End me? Oh yeah, how you gonna do that; you don't have a gun.
Casey: Don't think I can't kill you with my thumb or my elbow? Nerd bludgeoned by a radiator?
Chuck: You can't kill me with that radiator; it is far too confined in this car for you to get the appropriate torque.
Casey: Strangle you with this handcuff chain?
Chuck: Yeah, yeah, you could probably do that.
• Rating: Unrated

Devon: Hey guys, something weird is going on. Have you seen Chuck? He didn't come home last night, Casey came by, said he was worried about him.
Lester: Casey, yeah, yeah, I'm sure, can't live without his precious Chuck.
Devon: What's that supposed to mean?
Lester: The guy is obsessed with him, a classic perv. (to Jeff) No offense.
• Rating: Unrated

Chuck: Look, for whatever it's worth, if I have to spend the rest of my days in a dark windowless room, I can't think of a better person to spend it with.
Sarah: It's not really how this works.
Chuck: What, we can't request a cozy little two-bed, two-bath cell?
Sarah: Two-bed?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Devon: Chuck, Chuck, this is crazy, we've gotta call the police!
Chuck: Devon, we can't do that. Here, drink this.
Devon: He tried to kill me! Why can't we call the cops?
Chuck: Because I am the cops.
Sarah: Chuck!
Casey: Moron.
Chuck: Devon, I am a high level CIA asset and these are my handlers. For the past two years they've had to watch and protect my every move.
Sarah: Chuck, no!
Chuck: (Looks at Sarah) He can handle it. (Looks back at Devon) You can handle this, right? Tell me you can handle this.
Devon: You're being serious? (To Sarah) He's being serious?!?
Chuck: Devon, I need you to help me, I need you to be cool about this. I need you to cover for me with Ellie. I need you...to be awesome. Can you be awesome?
Devon: (In shock) You're a spy, Chuck?
Chuck: Yeah; more or less, yeah.
Devon: Whoa. Wow! This is... awesome! Hehe, yeah! I knew you weren't a loser who worked at the Buy More!
Chuck: Loser is a little...that's a little harsh. Ok, here-- here's the thing: the Buy More, actually, uh, is real.
• Rating: Unrated