Chuck

Chuck Season 2 Quotes

Season 2 Episode 22: "Chuck Versus the Ring"

Woody: (to Devon, about Jeffster!) Why are you letting Sam Kinison and an Indian lesbian wreck your wedding?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Beckman: We'd like you to be an analyst. Your country is calling you, Mr. Bartowski.
Chuck: Well, then I think my country might have the wrong number, 'cuz I'm just Chuck Bartowski, not a hero.
 • Rating: Unrated

Sarah: Chuck, did you just flash?
(Rogue agent Miles looks over Chuck)
Miles: He uploaded it.
Casey: Oh...Chuck me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chuck: What exactly is this?
Casey: It's your pay packet, numb-nuts.
(Chuck opens the envelope)
Chuck: Hiyo! Whoa!
Casey: Yeah, you know, if you were a true patriot, you wouldn't even cash it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(Chuck pulls Casey into a hug)
Chuck: See? Guys can hug.
Casey: Not if they don't have their man-parts.
Chuck: It's a good point. (He withdraws)
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(Devon grabs Morgan by the collar)
Devon: Morgan, you are ruining my wedding!
Morgan: Listen to me: if you hit me, know that it only teaches me to hit!
 • Rating: Unrated

(Sarah fixes Chuck's bowtie, her hands lingering on his chest)
Sarah: You look like a real spy.
Chuck: You look like a real bridesmaid. (They pause) Sarah, I--
Sarah: Wait, uh, there is something that I have to tell you.
Chuck: I can't wait. I can't wait, I can't wait any longer, okay? Everyone keeps asking me what I'm gonna do with my future, and the truth is I don't have a clue. All I do know is I want you to be in it.
Sarah: Please, I really have to tell you--
Chuck: No. No guns, no lies. Just us. Just like I've always wanted. I've recently come into a little bit of money, so any place you want to go, any place at all, as long as it's sunny with little umbrella drinks...what I'm getting at here is: Sarah Walker, will you do me the honor...of taking a vacation with me?
Sarah: Chuck, I'm leaving in the morning. The details are classified, but I'm working on the new Intersect project. With Bryce.
Chuck: Bryce?
Sarah: I'm-- I'm so sorry; I wanted to wait until after the ceremony to tell you.
(Chuck pauses, stunned, devastated, and fighting to control his growing anger)
Chuck: Thank you for coming to the wedding. Good for the cover. (He storms away)
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted Roark: (aiming a shotgun at Chuck during Ellie's wedding) Hmm, a real shotgun wedding. Just think: that terrible pun is the last thing you'll ever hear.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted Roark: I believe we've met before.
Chuck: Ted Roark.
Ted Roark: No, I'm Ted Roark. You're the CIA agent who's in deep trouble.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chuck: Oh God, someone shoot me now
Roark: I can help you with that Chuck. Oh, a little shotgun wedding. Just think, that terrible pun is the last thing you'll hear
 • Rating: Unrated

Casey [to Chuck]: Here's my personal number, but your fingers better be on fire

 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Chuck: See, guys can hug
Casey: Not if they don't have their man parts
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 21: "Chuck Versus the Colonel"

Roark: Oh, great, gang's all here. Only fair that a son should see the results of his father's labor. Of course, if this doesn't work, I'm afraid I have to go back to that bit where I kill everybody.
Chuck: What if it does work?
Roark: If it does work? Same result, but, you know, you should root for it, I mean, nobody likes a cynic.
 • Rating: Unrated

Casey: (Seeing surveillance of Devon locked-down in his apartment) I hate this whole family!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jeff: You wanna see something really freaky? (They break into Casey's locker) Dude keeps a Chuck diary.
Lester: Bathroom visits. And duration.
Jeff: Keys, duct tape, high-grade chloroform.
Devon: Whoa.
Jeff: From one stalker to another, I'm impressed.
Devon: You guys think this has something to do with Chuck missing?
Lester: I don't care.
Jeff: No clue. You mind if I, uh, get right? (He takes a hit of chloroform and passes out)
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Emmett: Friends... (giggles) I wish people in our line of work could afford friends. That's just one of the sacrifices of upper management!
(He giggles and spins in his chair)
Morgan: Yeah well, Big Mike is my friend, and I never would have betrayed him if you hadn't tricked me.
Emmett: Really? Do all your friends give your mother urinary tract infections? Listen, Grimes. I am offering you a cup of the corporate ladder. Now, I need a new assistant manager. (He leans in) Will you be my "ass man"?
 • Rating: Unrated

Beckman: The safety of the Intersect is no longer my main concern. I want you to hunt Agent Walker and the asset down. Bring them back, dead or alive.
Casey: Understood, General.
Beckman: Once the Intersect is in our possession this mission will be over and you will have your pick of assignments. Your country thanks you, Colonel Casey. Congratulations. You've earned it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chuck: I'll, I'll sleep on the floor.
Sarah: No, it's okay.
(Sarah jumps into bed, while Chuck turns off the TV)
Chuck: Why are you doing this?
Sarah: Because the floor is gross and I'm not gonna make you sleep on it.
Chuck: No, I mean why are you here, risking everything that you worked so hard for?
Sarah: Because after everything that you've done for this country, you deserve to find your father, to get the Intersect out your head and to have a chance at a normal life.
Chuck: Thank you.
Sarah: You don't have to thank me, it's my job to protect you.
Chuck: What about when it's not your job? What happens to us then?
Sarah: One mission at a time, Chuck.
 • Rating: Unrated

Casey: Going somewhere, Bartowski?
Chuck: No, no, we came back here for you because FULCRUM's here!
Casey: Well, then, we better get out of here.
Chuck: I'm not leaving without Sarah.
Casey: You drive, or I end you.
Chuck: End me? Oh yeah, how you gonna do that; you don't have a gun.
Casey: Don't think I can't kill you with my thumb or my elbow? Nerd bludgeoned by a radiator?
Chuck: You can't kill me with that radiator; it is far too confined in this car for you to get the appropriate torque.
Casey: Strangle you with this handcuff chain?
Chuck: Yeah, yeah, you could probably do that.
 • Rating: Unrated

Devon: Hey guys, something weird is going on. Have you seen Chuck? He didn't come home last night, Casey came by, said he was worried about him.
Lester: Casey, yeah, yeah, I'm sure, can't live without his precious Chuck.
Devon: What's that supposed to mean?
Lester: The guy is obsessed with him, a classic perv. (to Jeff) No offense.
 • Rating: Unrated

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