Britta: Did you do all that to me on purpose? That's not a very nice way to treat your friends
Abed: Well, Britta, it isn't called friend business, it's called show business [lights up a cigarette and leaves the room]
Britta: He's smoking!
Jeff: Honey, let him leave the nest

Abed's Dad: Dreams are for sleeping
Britta: You don't know that
Abed's Dad: It's clinically proven

Our first assignment is a documentary, they're like real movies but with ugly people

Abed

9/11 was pretty much the 9/11 of the falafel market

Abed

Abed: Jeff, I have to make some adjustments to my film, you'll play my father
Jeff: I don't want to be your father
Abed: Perfect, you already know the lines

Jeff: Hey troy sneezes like a girl
Troy: How about I pound you like a boy... that didn't come out right

Community Season 1 Episode 3 Quotes

Abed: Jeff, I have to make some adjustments to my film, you'll play my father
Jeff: I don't want to be your father
Abed: Perfect, you already know the lines

Jeff: Hey troy sneezes like a girl
Troy: How about I pound you like a boy... that didn't come out right