Thursdays 8:00 PM on NBC
Community

Abed: They were making out.
Britta: Abed!
Jeff: Why would you say that?
Abed: Why would you do it in front of me? I'm not a coat rack.

Annie: Weird night huh?
Troy: Yeah. Alcohol makes people sad. It's like the Lifetime movies of beverages.

Troy: I just spent the last two years thinking that you guys knew more than me about life, and I just found out you guys are just as dumb as me.
Britta: Da doi.
Jeff: Yeah. Da doi.

Guy in bar: What is wrong with you that you can sit here this whole time and never pick up on the fact that a man is hitting on you.
Abed: Oh I actually did pick up on it after a while.
Guy: And?
Abed: I just like talking about Farscape.

Jeff: There's a place at Third and Water. It's fun, divey but not staph infection divey. It's either got a gross name, or an ironically fancy one. Possibly both.
Britta: Oh, The Ball Toom. Good.

I'm not a relaxed person Britta. I think ahead. I prepare. I don't improvise my life like Caroline Decker, who probably has really bad credit and an unfinished mermaid tattoo.

Annie

Yes. I want to bathe in manhood.

Troy

Jeff: You were born 21 years ago.
Troy: Which would make me 20, because everyone is 10 for two years. Because fifth grade is really hard for every...one. Mom how many lies have I been living!?

Shirley: Here, let me help you with that.
Pierce: I broke my legs, not my gender.

Displaying quotes 1 - 9 of 10 in total