Community

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Shirley: Pierce has always been on my watch list.
Troy: That dude is crazy. He told me girls have two pee holes

Hey Abed, real stories -- they don't have spoilers. You understand that TV and life are different, right?

Britta

You do this thing with your face when you're trying to be funny that forces people to think about how cool you are. It's very distracting

Pierce [to Jeff]

Britta: That was one of the worst things I have ever seen. Which I guess makes being a part of it a pretty selfless, so I'm impressed
Jeff: How do you know I didn't do it just to get another shot with you?
Britta: Cause a smart man like you would know that no woman in that class would be able to look at you as a sexually viable candidate ever again

Senor Chang: Why are there costumes? These are supposed to be short conversations, they're not supposed to.
Jeff: Take your breath away?

Britta: I was a little too harsh on you, I'm not perfect
Jeff: I am, I'd be happy to show you the ropes

The woman I kind of like is out there in the moonlight caring about something stupid. This my chance to show her I care enough to act like I care about it too

Jeff

Britta: What can i do?
Annie: You can hang the Chacata Panecos piniata
Britta: You guys realize he was beaten to death, right?
Shirley: That's where we got the idea from
Annie: Poignant

Britta: this cause is really important to me
Annie: Are you saying we're not allowed to protest? Britta, you sound like Guatemala
Shirley: Sounds like someone has the case of "someone likes to use fringe politics to make themselves feel special but doesn't want to do anything"-itis

Pierce: Let's have one drink before we work ... to the empowerment of words
Jeff: To the irony of that sentence

Pierce: I can't have children. I'm not sterile. In fact, it's a rare condition they call it hyper virility. Apparently my sperm shoot through the egg if you can believe it
Jeff: I can't, but you can, so that's fine

Come on, hands people! It's 90% of Spanish

Senor Chang
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 14 in total

Community Season 1 Episode 2 Quotes

Pierce: Why don't we go get a beer? I'll give you some advice and we can have what the kids are calling a sausage fest
Jeff: I'm not much of a sausage guy, maybe next time, Pierce

The truth is my life is emptier than this three ring binder. Annie, do you have any Spanish notes that might fit in there? Double spaced? Thank you. What's a guy gotta do to get a "C" around here?

Jeff