Thursdays 8:00 PM on NBC

Britta: This is a lock of my hair.
Troy: Creepy.

Official: Nobody can sit on something this big.
Dean: IIIII'll sit on it.

Abed: Which wire do I cut?
Troy: There's only one.
Abed: God, I hope I'm right.

Chang started his solo. Knowing him, that gives us only nine minutes to get to the records room.


Chang you're insane. You're still into keytar?


This job's getting bigger than my wife's credit card bill at Marshall's. I mean, they have great stuff, I know that.


A, that is racist. B, swamis can't drive, they're Indians.


Troy: Don't be alarmed if things get a little noisy.
Abed: Like my wife's mouth.

Do you know how long someone who is as sarcastic as I am would last in prison? Suuuuuuch a long time.

Displaying quotes 1 - 9 of 11 in total