Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Fridays 9:00 PM on The CWCrazy Ex-Girlfriend Quotes
I just can't. I'm with child. I'm with a child, my brother.
Rebecca
Heather: We already had a wedding.
Hector: Well I know, and it was sweet. But now we can have another wedding with the people we love.
Heather: Oh, you're one of those.
Hector: You mean a person?
I've been meaning to talk to you about some of the things I did also. When I moved in with you but acted like we were casual, that was gaslighting.
Josh
There are so many different professions that don't turn you into Jeff Sessions.
Jim
A gap year! I did one of those, so did Malia Obama. She went to South and Central America and learned a lot about herself. I went to Arkansas to help my aunt raise her five kids after her husband put a gun in his mouth. I learned a lot about myself too, my tubes are tied.
Maya
Hector, I'm sorry I missed Hocus Pocus, I was masturbating for five hours.
Rebecca
Paula: You ran off to go death camping.
Nathaniel: That is offensive, don't call it that. I went concentration camping.
Yeah, she flushes her tampons, but that is like the worst thing I could say about her.
Heather
Paula: Hon, have you been online today?
Rebecca: That's a terrifying sentence.
Paula: The good news is that I'm getting you out of here and I will probably do that before you do Cats.
Rebecca: I would never do Cats. Come on, I'm not that much of a dork.
I'm not killing myself, George. I'm going on a Death Wish adventure!
Nathaniel
Paula: If you don't wake up now and confess to everything, I am going to call Princeton and tell them to take back your degree.
Trent: Actually, I went to school in Boston.
