Parrish: Now if you will excuse me, it's quarter to Isaac time.
Jack: Wait? It's what?
Parrish: I am going to the GD spa for cucumber facial and seaweed body wrap. I have job interviews on Monday and I want to look as good as I feel, I've earned it.

Parrish: Sheriff, Ms. Lupo. Are you here to assist me with the move?
Jack: Actually we are here to see if you are trying to stop it.
Jo: When it comes to disgruntle employees, you're sort of top of the list.
Parrish: Oh on the contrary. I am fully gruntled. Global Dynamics hasn't appreciated my talents. Now that I am a free agent, the world is my oyster.

Jack: Not to interrupt, but WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?
Fargo: I think you may have been wormed-holed.
Jack: Wormholes are bad. What did you do?
Fargo: Nothing. I just activated my strong force amplifier.

Zane: How goes the packing Jo-Jo?
Jo: It's like herding cats.

Jack: You ok?
Allison: Yeah.
Jack: I gotta kick my ass.

Carter: Game over
Jack: I really hate myself sometimes.

Parrish: You know Donovan, I've always maintained that under proper supervision you're not incompetent.
Zane: Well damn Parrish, that's probably the nicest thing you said to anyone - ever

It's like that dream where you're trying to scream but all you can speak is orkish.

Holly

Kevin: You mean he's a clone? Can we keep him please?
Allison: This is Jack evil twin not a puppy!

Their making me do things, like I'm walking in my sleep. Except that instead of raiding the fridge I'm spitting out bodies like the queen alien on LV426

Holly

Parrish: You dematerialized me.
Zane: What happen to non-lethal weapons?
Parrish: That one's a work in progress. I taste like chicken.

Fargo: We were just talking military man stuff.
Jo: Really, you served? Which division?
Fargo: Uh long division?

Eureka Season 5 Quotes

Fargo: What the frakk happened?
Zane: Carter stole my girlfriend.
Fargo: Really?
Carter: No, well yea... ZANE, bigger issues!

Ahh (squeal) that was so creepy!

Holly