Fresh Off the Boat
Fridays 8:30 PM on ABCFresh Off the Boat Season 1 Episode 1: "Pilot" Quotes
Mitch: I've always wanted to work in a Golden Corral.
Louis: This isn't a Golden Corral. This is the Cattleman's Ranch.
Mitch:But I thought this is a spin-off of Golden Corral. You've got all the same stuff.
Louis: Not the same stuff. It's very different stuff.
Mitch: But that bear is the same.
Louis: The bear's brown. At Golden Corral, the bear's black
Mitch: Snake skins?
Louis: Different snake.
Mitch: You're the boss. If you tell me that it's not a Golden Corral.
Louis: No, it's not. You're crazy. (jokingly)
Mitch: I am (jokingly). I mean, not supercrazy, because it has all the same stuff.
No I moved my whole family down here for this. I need your Caucasian feature to work now. My wife is not a patient woman. Do you know how many times she tries to start a garden? Have you ever seen a woman yelling at seeds? "Grow! Grow!"
Louis
(watching Eddie get rejected from the cool kids' table) A white dude and an Asian dude bonding over a black dude. This cafeteria's ridiculous.
Schoolkid
Diedre: Ugh, I cannot believe Jake slept with Brittany. He knew Pamercorp was using her as a plot to destroy him and take controlling interest of Melrose Place. Right, Jessica?
Jessica: Yes, all those white people sound like they're making lots of mistakes.
Eddie: Mind if I sit?
Other kid: No....fine, but don't try to talk to me, I don't like kids. My best friend is a 40-year-old man.
Jessica: But this is not the West, this is the south. If we wanted the west we could go to California
Louis: Do you know how expensive California is? This is the West enough. This is fine
Louis: Are you ready to do this?
Mitch:: Not really, I feel like I've told you numerous times, I don't want to do this but all you do is smile and nod.
Louis: [Smiles and nods]
Mitch: You're doing it.
Louis: [Smiles and nods[
Mitch: See, you're doing it
If you get lost, try to find a white family. You will be safe there until I can find you.
Jessica
