Hastings Ruckle: Coach are we there yet?
Coach Taylor: Nope, but we're getting there. Slowly but surely we're getting there.

I know it's very controversial now son, we don't even say it, but hazing is an important ritual. You know back in the days it used to be shave the whole body, adhesive tape, leave us out in the country just to find our way home. So it's a lot kinder now. Don't worry, you can handle it baby, you can handle it.


Julie Taylor is a slut!!

Derek's wife

Stay away from dumb gentlemen.

Coach Taylor

Luke: I thought you were gonna lay off the pork man! After I gave you my pig, c'mon.
Tinker: Dude, pork and pig are two different things.
Vince: Wait what?
Tinker: Pork is on a plate and pig ain't.

It's too damn quiet. I miss my cop cars and crackheads.


Coach we're not calling Triple A, Triple A is for women.


I wanna go to the playoffs this year, you wanna come with me?

Coach Taylor
Displaying all 8 quotes