Luke: Me? Raising a kid? I don't even like kids. They're always sticky like they've got jam on their hands. Even if there's no jam in the house, somehow, they've always got jam on their hands! I'm not the right guy to deal with that. I have no patience for jam hands!
Lorelai: First of all, Jess is 17 so I think he's probably pass the jam hands stage by now. Second of all, you can do this. If you want to you are totally capable.

Lorelai: So, how are you feeling?
Rory: Haunted by the sight of Kirk's bare chest.

Lorelai: Mom, you signed us up for a couple's massage.
Emily: So?
Lorelai: A couple's massage is for a couple not a couple of people.
Emily: It's more efficient this way. We'll both be finished at the same time.
Lorelai: Mom, do you know what most people who get these massages do about five minutes after it's over? They have sex, together, probably while wearing their robes.

Lorelai: Michel, it's the first snowfall of the season. It's very lucky! Make a wish!
Michel: Get away from me.
Lorelai: Oh, you're not supposed to say it out loud.
(Michel answers the phone.)
Lorelai: (to herself) The world changes when it snows. It's quiet. Everything softens.
Michel: It's your mother.
Lorelai: And then the rain comes.

(Dean walks away after fighting with Rory)
Rory: Please, don't walk away like that!
Dean: Sorry, I'd do a silly walk, but I'm not felling very John Cleese right now!

(writing in guestbook) Satanic forces are at work here.

Lorelai

(referring to Michel) Can't stand the talk. Love to watch the walk.

Drella

I've got to check in at the Inn. Michel's there by himself. People could die.

Lorelai

(about Lorelai) I can't believe you set me up with that! What, was the bearded lady busy tonight or something?

Rune

Lorelai: Just take the card.
Max: I might frame the card.
Lorelai: Just use the card.
Max: I definitely will.

Behold, in theaters now, The Thing That Reads a Lot.

</i> Lorelai

Michel: (on the phone at the inn) As soon as I can, I will send someone up ... Yes, I will ... I understand ... I understand ... I understand ... I understand ... I understand ... Okay ... I understand. Goodbye. (hangs up)
Lorelai: What do you understand?
Michel: I have no idea. I tuned him out at the first screech.

Gilmore Girls Quotes

Lorelai: So, how are you feeling?
Rory: Haunted by the sight of Kirk's bare chest.

Luke: Me? Raising a kid? I don't even like kids. They're always sticky like they've got jam on their hands. Even if there's no jam in the house, somehow, they've always got jam on their hands! I'm not the right guy to deal with that. I have no patience for jam hands!
Lorelai: First of all, Jess is 17 so I think he's probably pass the jam hands stage by now. Second of all, you can do this. If you want to you are totally capable.