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Lorelai: Why can't you keep a maid in this house? I mean there must have been 1000 women who've gone through here in the 32 years that I've been alive and not one of them could stick it out.
Emily: And this is what we need to discuss right now?
Lorelai: These are women from countries that have dictatorships and civil wars and death squads and all of that they survived, but 5 minutes working for Emily Gilmore and people are begging for Castro.

Man: That's a hammer?
Rory: Well, it's just dressed up a little.
Man: You dressed up a hammer?
Rory: No, my mother did. She does that. She, um, she takes thinks that aren't pretty and makes them pretty, like a hammer, you know. One time she made individual outfits for my liquid paper bottles. A clown, a cowboy, a newscaster. She's not insane, she just sounds it.

Lorelai: I need you to be serious here.
Rory: You're wearing a newspaper on your head and you want me to be serious?

(to Lorelai) Walk as you babble, please.

Emily

(About going to help fix up homes for the needy)
Paris: You don't want to go. It's not you.
Rory: I have multiple personalities, it might be one of me.

Paris: You need to follow a study schedule. I've been telling you that since second grade.
Louise: Which worries both of us.

Emily: We can discuss this in the morning.
Lorelai: No! We have to discuss it now!
Emily: Are you drunk?

Emily: Your head is too big for a veil.
Lorelai: Thanks.

Rory: What's that?
Lorelai: A hammer.
Rory: Why does it have feathers?
Lorelai: So the rhinestones and bows won't feel lonely.

(to Rory) I mean it, Timmy, no falling down the well.

Lorelai

Lorelai: I'm officially changing my order. I'll have the 'Luke's giving Lorelai a migraine' meal.
Luke: Blue cheese or ranch?

Lorelai: (about the wedding shower) It's crazy out there.
Luke: Oh, I can imagine.
Lorelai: Lots of people having fun, just the kind of thing you'd hate.

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Gilmore Girls Season 2 Episode 2 Quotes

Lorelai: What about Dad?
Emily: We're starting without him.
Lorelai: Why? He's the one with the six o'clock flight. We don't have to go anywhere. We could stay all night. Kick back, do some jello shots, play light as a feather, sitff as a board...
Richard: You started without me!

Lorelai: Okay, I'm officially way too tired to go out tonight so I'm not trusting my accessorizing instincts. Tell me what you think.
Rory: I have no wilderness skills.
Lorelai: So you hate the purse?
Rory: How am I supposed to get into Harvard if I have no wilderness skills?
Lorelai: I don't know honey. Maybe you'll have to give up your dream of majoring in logging.
Rory: I called the Fireflies. Do they need troop leaders? Yes. Good, I'll be a troop leader. Great. The only catch is, it's summer. Camping season. I need wilderness skills. Why did you never take me camping?
Lorelai: Camping? Are you kidding? I couldn't get you to step on wet grass until you were three.
Rory: If you had taken me camping, I'd have wilderness skills.
Lorelai: Well, I'll tell you what. I'll take you upstairs, I'll throw you out the window. If you manage to grab that tree, I'll be your witness.