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(Luke's diner. Lorelai is sitting at the counter)
Lorelai: Hey Luke, ah, I feel a little weird even mentioning this to you.
Lorelai: Well, yesterday I saw you talking to Eva, you know, she's in my Booster Club?
Luke: Yeah, I know who she is.
Lorelai: (slightly annoyed) Oh, good, well, good. So, anyhow, I saw you guys talking alone, and it seemed kind of private and she mentioned earlier that you didn't make her, you know, gag. So, I just figured you guys were making some sort of plans to hang out and, see, the thing is, I just think it would be a little weird if you started dating a Chilton mom. Look, I know I have no right to say anything to you, but it's just, ahm, if you did date her, I'm in the Booster Club with her, which means that I'll hear things and, I don't know, it's just I'd like to keep that Chilton life seperate from my Stars Hollow life. So, if there's any way that you could not date her, that would be really great.
Luke: Boy, I tell you you've got nerve!
Lorelai: Okay, well, I know this is your private business.
Luke: It is my private business.
Lorelai: You don't see any validity to my side at all?
Luke: I am a grown man. You cannot tell me who to date.
Lorelai: I'm not telling you who to date, I'm telling you who not to date.
Luke: You can't tell me that either.
Luke: I will date who I like and if that screws with your plans then sorry! And if you don't wanna hear things, don't listen!
Luke: If you don't like it you can just deal with it.
Lorelai: Okay, I'll just deal with it.
Lorelai: I just thought that if something was going to affect our friendship in some way that you might care about that, because if the situation was reversed then I would care, but hey! That's me. So, go ahead! Date her. Marry her. Make her Mrs. Backwards Baseball Cap. Live happily ever after! See if I care! (upset, she turns around to leave)
Luke: And by the way, I wasn't asking her out. I was giving her directions for the quickest way back to Hartford. It was very romantic. I said you take a right at Deerfield, and you catch the I-5 and you take it south. Oh man, hot stuff.
Lorelai: (very embarrassed but stubbornly trying to hide it) That is so typical of you!
Lorelai: That is not the quickest way back to Hartford. Everybody knows that you take Maine to Cherry to Lynwood and then grab the I-11. Everybody knows that Luke. Everybody, apparently, but you!
(She exits and leaves a smiling Luke behind)
- Permalink: Hey Luke, ah, I feel a little weird even mentioning this to you....
(Luke walks into the inn with his toolbox)
Lorelai: Oh, thank god. You brought Bert.
Luke: Right here.
Lorelai: My men! Follow me.
Luke: By the way, you do tell people that you're the one who named my toolbox, right?
Lorelai: (chuckles) Toolbox. Dirty.
- Permalink: Oh, thank god. You brought Bert. Right here. My men! Follow ...
(Paris looks terrible while Rory looks perfect)
Paris: That really how you look when you first get up?
Paris: Nothing in my life is fair.
- Permalink: That really how you look when you first get up? Yes. Nothing...
Lorelai: That's what you got busted for, ringing a bell?
Rory: Yeah, mhm.
Lorelai: That's it, bell ringing?
Lorelai: Were you at least smoking a Cuban cigar while you were doing it?
Lorelai: No. I mean bad girl. How many times have I told you not to ring bells.
Rory: Let's go.
Lorelai: They can dent or scratch. And they make dogs crazy. Who do you think you are, the Hunchback of Notre Dame? Are you French, are you circular? I don't think so.
- Permalink: That's what you got busted for, ringing a bell? Yeah, mhm. T...
Lorelai: Wow, busy today. Has Luke been advertising or something?
Rory: He gets good word-of-mouth.
Lorelai: Well, we have to start spreading bad word-of-mouth so we can always have a table.
Rory: Well, that would be wrong, but sure. Vermin?
Lorelai: Or no potable water.
Rory: Or no potable vermin.
Lorelai: That would scare them away.
Rory: Or confuse them away.
- Permalink: Wow, busy today. Has Luke been advertising or something? He ge...
Rory: It's just so weird that the one table I sit down at is home to the secret society.
Lorelai: I know. It's like waking up one day and realizing that everyone else in your family can pull their face off.
Rory: Yes, it's exactly like that.
- Permalink: It's just so weird that the one table I sit down at is home to t...
Lorelai: Who the hell names their kid Lemon?
Rory: Someone really into citrus.
- Permalink: Who the hell names their kid Lemon? Someone really into citrus...
Ivy: I hate nepotism.
Lem: But unfortunately it does make the world go round.
- Permalink: I hate nepotism. But unfortunately it does make the world go r...
Francie: Don't you have a nickname?
Rory: Well. Rory is a nickname. My real name is Lorelai.
Lem: Lorelai? That's a weird name!
Rory: Well Lem.. what can I say!
- Permalink: Don't you have a nickname? Well. Rory is a nickname. My real n...
Rory: (chuckling to herself) Barry Manilow.
Rory: (singing) Looks like we made it.
Lorelai: Oh yeah? Spice Girls!
Rory: Duran Duran!
Rory: Olivia Newton-John!
Lorelai: The Macarena! You and Lane for hours and hours for weeks on end!
Rory: Hey! We were mocking, you can't mock the mocking!
Lorelai: All right, it's getting ugly. Let's stop.
Rory: Let's be friends again.
Lorelai: All right.
- Permalink: Barry Manilow. Stop! Looks like we made it. Oh yeah? Spic...
Rory: Maybe I am a loner. I mean, you were mocking my backpack today. I might just be one step away from carrying a mysterious duffel bag.
Lorelai: Oh no, no you don't. Don't you go doubting who you are or how you should be. How dare that woman do this to you!
Kirk: It's all fixed. I found a loose terminal. I reconnected the battery and jumped it, so it's set to go.
Lorelai: Oh, thanks Kirk.
Kirk: And I'm not gonna charge you for the time I spent stuck underneath the car.
Lorelai: That's great Kirk.
Kirk: And I just want you to know that I overheard, and you're absolutely right. I carried a duffel bag and ate lunch by myself my entire school career, and I turned out just fine.
- Permalink: Maybe I am a loner. I mean, you were mocking my backpack today. ...
Francie: Are you a belle?
Rory: Oh, no, but apparently I command them.
- Permalink: Are you a belle? Oh, no, but apparently I command them.