Gilmore Girls Season 1 Episode 4: "The Deer Hunters" Quotes
Lorelai: (looking at the antler marks on the side of the Jeep) You did. You got hit by a deer.
Rory: It just came out of nowhere.
Lorelai: You couldn't just run into a wall like other kids?
Lorelai: Are you holding that door open for a reason?
Headmaster Charleston: Our meeting is over.
Lorelai: Like hell it is.
Sookie: It wasn't the Risotto, it was the wine. He ordered the wrong wine!
Lorelai: Oh, wow, great.
Sookie: See, in the review, he mentioned something about a Summer Tomato Salad, which I only made once in the last three weeks because Jackson of course decides to get in a fistfight with his tomato grower Okay, that's a different story.
Lorelai: Yes. Save it for Christmastime.
Sookie: So, Brian, the goateed waiter, only worked one shift last week because his girlfriend kicked him out and he had to move.
Lorelai: Celia kicked him out?
Sookie: Well, he didn't want kids.
Lorelai: But she knew that when they moved in.
Sookie: Women always think they can change men.
Lorelai: Yeah.
Sookie: So, anyhow, I checked the dates, I narrowed the date down, and I found a party that had ordered practically everything in the menu including
Lorelai: The magic Risotto.
Sookie: Yes, the Risotto and a Riesling. Ha! A Riesling!
Lorelai: Why not just drink battery acid?
Sookie: Exactly. Changes the entire flavor of the dish. And the fact that Brian even served it, makes me think Celia is a little bit better off without him.
Lorelai: Make sure that carpet is replaced perfectly before they go.
Michel: Okay.
Lorelai: And I mean perfectly, nailed down and everything.
Michel: Oh, you mean that "perfectly." Oh, I thought you meant the other "perfectly," you know, the one that could be misinterpreted by the other Michel. You know, the one that couldn't understand what you meant by "perfectly."
Lorelai: The Comedy of Errors: written?
Rory: 1590.
Lorelai: Published?
Rory: 1698.
Lorelai: Ooh, 1623. Close.
Rory: How is 1623 close?
Lorelai: You got the 16 part right.
Rory: I was off by seventy-five years.
Lorelai: Well, anything under a hundred is close.
Rory: What kind of a rule is that?
Lorelai: I'm running the study session here. Okay. Richard III.
Rory: 1591.
(Lorelai imitates a wrong-answer buzzer)
Rory: '93?
(Lorelai imitates buzzer)
Rory: '96?
(Lorelai imitates buzzer)
Rory: Okay, that's getting really annoying now.
(Lorelai imitates buzzer)
Lorelai: Hey, Backwards baseball hat...new look for you. (Looking over at Rory) She's eating pie? Did she eat dinner?
Luke: You raised her. I just serve.
(when she tastes the "bad coffee") Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and the camel!
Lorelai
Lorelai: Sookie, I need coffee to go.
Sookie: There's fresh over there.
Lorelai: Ooh, good. (walks over to the coffee pot to find it empty) Fresh in my first lifetime as Joan of Arc.
Mrs. Kim: (referring to a Snickers bar) That is chocolate-covered death.
Rory: (taking a bite) With a creamy caramel surprise.
Rory: If you let me study now, I'll play with you this weekend.
Lorelai: Promise?
Rory: Yes, we can do anything you want.
Lorelai: Will you go to the shoe sale with me?
Rory: Yes.
Lorelai: Will you let me try on anything I want?
Rory: Yes.
Lorelai: Will you help me push other people out of the way if they're going for my size?
Rory: I'll even run interference for you.
Michel: (to Lorelai) Can I kill her?
Loreali: Not before high tea.
Michel: (to Drella) Fine. Then I will curse you constantly and in several languages.
Michel: (after Drella runs into him with her harp) Oh, you imbecile!
Drella: Back off, Chevalier.
Michel: You're stupid, blind, and clumsy!
Drella: Yeah, well, at least I'm not French.
