Lorelai: Hi there. Um, this is Rory Gilmore and I'm Lorelai Gilmore.
Nurse: Lorelai Gilmore?
Lorelai: Yeah, L - o - r . ..
Nurse: You don't look like you've recently suffered a face-altering car crash.
Lorelai: Uh, excuse me?
Nurse: You're also supposed to have buck teeth, a club foot, and alopecia.
Lorelai: Oh. I'm sorry, who told you this?
Nurse: My husband.

(picking dance partners for Lorelai)
Luke: What about that one?
Lorelai: Hum not!
Luke: Why not?
Lorelai: Too pale
Luke: So what?
Lorelai: Pale means sickly.
Luke: Or sunscreen.
Lorelai: Or mad cows disease!
Luke: Pale does not mean mad cows disease!
Lorelai: Have you ever had mad cows disease?
Luke: Just twice last week and and my color was wonderful.

But I already put him in my revenge notebook.

Paris

Lorelai: Have you seen Sookie or Jackson?
Luke: No, but have you tried the insane asylum, where everyone in this room is supposed to be.

Lorelai: My shoe broke! I need you to fix it!
Luke: Do I look like a cobbler to you?
Lorelai: If I say yes, will you fix my shoe?

Rory: Dean, please. This is a girl thing.
Dean: Okay. Tell me when I'm supposed to pay attention again.

Rory: There's this big event happening in my town.
Paris: Pig race?
Rory: Dance marathon.
Paris: I was close.

Rory: I can't even open my eyes.
Lorelai: That okay, there's nothing to see. Kirk's in a Speedo, Taylor's in a skirt, Al's in assless chaps.
Rory: Oh my God, stop! I'm never gonna be able to close my eyes again.

Luke: I think I have some glue back at the diner.
Lorelai: Glue, yes - we love glue!
Luke: I wouldn't say that too loudly if I were you.

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