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Glee

[to Finn] Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy mopes around and sits on his ass until his best man helps save the day. Thank you.

Will

Will: If you were to write yourself a pamphlet, what would it be called?
Emma: 'So You're Freaking Out Because The Man You're Supposed to Marry Parades Back Into Town and You Don't Feel Like You Know Him Anymore.'

Emma: Will are you crazy?
Will: Crazy for you!

[to Adam] I always get a little sad when the sun comes out and the snow starts to melt and all the snowmen look like they have scoliosis.

Kurt

Santana: I have something to say and I have tried to keep it to myself but I will be silent no longer.
Rachel: What is it?
Santana: That Brody character is a freakin' psycho.

My first real week in New York and I'm snowbound in Bushwick with a bunch of musical theater queens. It's like Eli Roth decided to make a gay horror movie and this is the scene right before we all eat each other.

Santana

Artie: What we have on our hands is a lady manhunt. We need a hard target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse, and doghouse.
Finn: Ain't nobody got time for that.

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