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I haven't had a drink in 45 minutes.


I hate Duke like I hate the Nazis.

Burt Hummel

I can't be your dad, but I'll be her hero for as long as she'll take me.

Burt Hummel

On assembly days, I arrange for the rest of the school to be fumigated, so the gym is the only place with clean air.


I feel like the guy who set of Liza and David Gest.


Can you go now? I'm a half hour behind on my moisturizer routine, and I need to wake up early.


Finn: I miss getting hit.
Kurt: Pure boyish insanity.

Will: The liquor cabinet is off limits.
April: No worries. I brought my own.

Don't sweat that old chair. I have a lovely chaise picked out.

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