Sue, that is an orgy of evidence stacked against you!

Principal Figgins

You're amazing, Mercedes, and you deserve it. I'm gonna hug you now.

Rachel

She's the one they made me talk to when they found out I was keeping that bird in my locker.

Brittany

Will: But the wedding is on Saturday. Your wedding.
Emma: I know. We just pushed it back a few hours. Now it doesn't have to happen in broad daylight.

Get ready for the ride of your life Will Schuester. You're about to board the Sue Sylvester Express. Destination horror!

Sue

[to the panel] Okay. I'm just gonna come out and say it. This is a singing competition. I don't know how those deaf kids got in. They weren't singing, they were like honking and everyone was crying and I was like, "Get off the stage. You're terrible and you're making me super uncomfortable."

Candace

Sometimes being special sucks.

Will

You'll be adding revenge to the long list of things you're no good at, right next to being married, running a high school glee club and finding a hairstyle that doesn't look like a lesbian.

Sue

We've got a problem. They're doing all our numbers - the kids are completely freaking out. Artie keeps ramming himself into the wall and I'm pretty sure Jacob will just wet himself.

Emma

[to Quinn] I'm so sorry. I fully understand if you want to beat me up. Just avoid my nose.

Rachel

[to Quinn] Hey, I know it's not my place, but have you had the doctor run the full genetic test panel on your unborn child. I only ask because my cousin Leon and his wife got pregnant and then they found that he was a carrier for Tay-Sachs.

Rachel

I've never told you this before, but I'm a little psychic. I can't read minds or anything yet, but I do have a sixth sense.

Rachel

Glee Season 1 Episode 13 Quotes

Santana: Having sex is not dating.
Brittany: If it were Santana and I would be dating.

I say we lock Rachel up until after sectionals. I volunteer my basement.

Kurt