Good Omens
Fridays on Prime VideoGood Omens Season 2 Episode 1: "Chapter 1: The Arrival" Quotes
Aziraphale: You made it all yourself?
Crowley: Well, I mean more or less. I wasn’t the original concept designer but I worked very closely with Upstairs on it.
Aziraphale: Well, it’s very pretty.
Crowley: Oh, thank you.
What’s the point in creating an infinite universe with trillions of star systems if you’re only gonna let it run for a few thousand years? The engine won’t even be probably warmed up by then.
Crowley
Aziraphale: You’ve heard of Earth?
Crowley: Not as such?
Aziraphale: Ah. A blue-green planet? It’ll be over there somewhere when they roll out that quadrant? Now, that’s where the ‘people’ – that we’re currently designing – are going to be. I’ve seen the plans. We’re going to start out with a breeding pair, and then pretty soon there’ll be oodles of them! They’ll breed like, um, well, they’ll breed like people. The impression I get is that the stars and your… um…
Crowley: Called a nebula.
Aziraphale: Right. Well, they exist just so the people can look up into the night sky and marvel at the illimitable vastness of the Almighty’s creation.
Crowley: But that’s idiocy! It’s the universe, not just some fancy wallpaper! Millions of galaxies, trillions of stars, oodles of everything. It’s not just put here to twinkle! Most of it won’t even be visible from Earth! Why don’t you put Earth in the middle of the universe so the view’s better?
Aziraphale: It’s not our job to advise the Almighty on the details of creation.
Crowley: Well, whose job is it? I mean, someone has to say, ‘Look, boss, this is a really, really terrible idea.’
Aziraphale: Well, I suspect that would be considered… inappropriate.
Crowley: Well, I don’t suppose anyone could object to me putting a note into the suggestion box.
Aziraphale: I don’t believe the Almighty has actually created a suggestion box. And, furthermore, I don’t think it’s our place to start suggesting that there should be a suggestion box.
You can’t just create a universe, run it for a few thousand years, and then stop.
Crowley
Maggie: You can’t just forgive me eight months’ rent.
Aziraphale: Oh, I can. I’m very good at forgiveness. It’s one of my favorite things.
Shax: Crowley, I am now Hell’s representative in London, and Hell doesn’t care how jobs get done.
Crowley: Yeah, I remember. They just care that somebody does them.
Shax: Was it always this easy?
Crowley: Easy?
Shax: I keep planning complicated, strategic strikes to spread misery and panic among the humans and just as I’m about to put one into motion, they come up with something themselves which is so much worse than anything I could’ve thought of.
Crowley: Yeah, always this easy.
Gabriel: I’m me. I just don’t know who ‘me’ is.
Aziraphale: I see.
Gabriel: But you know me. You recognize me.
Aziraphale: Well, I know someone who looks like you.
Gabriel: That’s probably me then. I think that’s one of the main ways you can tell.
Crowley: Right, what’s the problem?
Aziraphale: Problem? Who said there was a problem?
Crowley: Tone of voice. You have three reasons for calling me. You’re bored. You need to tell someone about something clever you did before you pop. Or something’s wrong. This was your ‘something’s wrong’ voice.
Nina: Are you a bookseller too?
Crowley: Not even at gunpoint.
