[leaving message] Hey, Blair, it's Dan. I know I'm not someone you want to hear from late at night or ... any hour, but I need your help. Call me.

Dan

Blair: She looks like she needs a sandwich.
Chuck: Looks just right to me ...

Carter: I know what you're doing. You can't avoid what happened forever.
Serena: [undoes straps, alerts paparazzi and bolts] Watch me ... Oh no!

Spare me, S. I get every issue of Hello and OK! there is. I know what you did this summer, and who. Cristiano Ronaldo? I hope you got your shots before you traveled. Should I be worried?

Blair

Blair: It isn't an open relationship, we're completely monogamous! It's just another one of our games, like the rest.
Serena: Yeah, until it isn't anymore. Playing the scorned woman and actually being the scorned woman is a slippery slope.

Blair: Chuck plays the cheating bastard and I play the scorned woman. I even get to choose who to humiliate! Models, tourists, Upper West Siders ...
Serena: I don't know if anyone ever told you this, but the honeymoon is supposed to end, it's not real. The real part is after the honeymoon ends, when you settle down with someone, the three-month milestone.
Blair: It's not a milestone, it's a gravestone.

Dan: There is nothing out-of-sight, out-of-mind about your summer. I know what happened. I know there was no ashram.
Serena: I went to an ashram ... on a tour?

Rufus: Glad I had the number for City Harvest. This is all a little much.
Dan: A little much? This makes the Four Seasons look like ... one season.

Dan: [sees Serena in tabloid] Oh my god.
Eric: It's not what you think ...
Dan: So much for eat, pray, love. Well, I guess she got the love part right ...

Bree: Oh my god. You're Nate Archibald.
Nate: You're Bree Buckley.
Bree: You pulled my hair at Clinton's inaugural ball.
Nate: Your redneck cousins tried to waterboard me at the easter egg hunt on the Bree: White House lawn ... it's good to see you again.
Take care of yourself.

Nate: Now that we're back on our home turf, do I at least get your number? Maybe a last name?
Bree: A little mystery never hurt anyone.

As for a certain leggy blonde by a Hamptons pool, it looks like Serena left big shoes to fill, and someone finds them a perfect fit.

Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl Season 3 Episode 1 Quotes

Gossip Girl: Spotted: Chuck Bass, up to his old tricks.

Welcome back Upper East Siders. After a long hot summer away, I see it didn't take you long to dirty up the clean slates I gave you. My inbox is overflowing, so let's get to the good stuff, shall we?

Gossip Girl