I told Laurel my daughter could make a better seating chart than that drug-addled publicist. It's a blessing she was hauled off to rehab for stealing her son's Ritallin.

Eleanor

For what it's worth, Humphrey, you had my back. Never thought I'd say this, but thanks.

Chuck

Gossip Girl: Spotted: Dan Humphrey, shoeless and clueless. That's all!

Chuck: Arthur! Pull over!
Dan: This isn't Brooklyn. Aren't you taking me home?
Chuck: Get out.
Dan: Wait, no, I don't -
Chuck: Tonight was nothing. You're just a drunken idiot. My amusement for the night.
Dan: Can I at least have my shoes?

Well, look, I gotta admit, this ... this was awesome. We gotta do this again.

Dan

Dan: How do you know so many twins?
Chuck: Twins find me?

Blair: Who put Serena and that Poppy person in the front row!? And all those socialites?! Someone changed this chart! The chart MY mother asked me to do! Who changed it?!
Dorota: Eleanor say ... Miss Jenny change it.
Blair: Jenny Humphrey?! Guess she didn't learn her lesson last year. Looks like someone needs a refresher course.

Don't ever go to high school, Dorota. The girls are spoiled, stupid and ungrateful! One snapshot with a socialite and it's all Serena, Serena, Serena!

Blair

Don't they know that without me, they'd never see the inside of a fashion tent? They'd be stuck behind the barricades with PETA! In fact, maybe I will leave them outside with PETA. Maybe that will teach them some manners!

Blair

Chuck: Nate just happens to be away at his grandparents'.
Blair: Nate is only friends with you out of habit! The only person with fewer friends than you is Dan Humphrey and even his lame, '90s dad likes him. And that's because he's something you'll never be. A human being.

Chuck: Watching you fail spectacularly gives me so much joy.
Blair: And you know what you give to everybody else, Chuck? Misery. There's a reason you're always out here alone.

Dan: I just need to get out of Brooklyn. For one night. I'd like to experience the world of Chuck Bass.
Chuck: You're lucky I'm bored.
Dan: Is that a yes?
Chuck: Get in, before I change my mind.

Gossip Girl Season 2 Quotes

Serena: Blair will never forgive you for what you did to her.
Chuck: Who told you that little piece of advice, your boyfriend Nate?
Serena: Nate didn't say anything ...
Chuck: Good. I don't think it's wise taking relationship advice from someone in a FAKE relationship. Call me crazy. (pause) Enjoy another night alone with your thoughts.
Serena: Good luck on your suicide mission!

Serena: I still miss Dan sometimes... more than sometimes.
Blair: The only thing lamer than dating Dan Humphrey... is mourning Dan Humphrey.