Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
Prime_large
How-i-met-your-mother

Marshall: I think we're going to wait on the baby thing. I mean I love babies. Babies rule. Pudgy arms and stuff. But, uh, they make you old. Kinda like this anchor weighing you down to one spot... forever.
Claire: I'm three months pregnant.
Marshall: ... Not awkward, guys. Not awkward unless we let it be awkward

Lily [about Marshall]: He just left in the middle of our own party. You don't do that. Unless of course you're chasing after somebody who's already done it and then I think it's OK.
Robin: Well, I hate to take his side. But come on, a wine tasting? What's the big plan for next Saturday? Scrabble night?
Lily: Don't check your e-mail.
Robin: Why are you becoming this person? I heard that in college you flashed a campus tour group on a dare.
Lily: Once on a dare. The other times were just for fun

Lily: Marshall and I are just growing up.
Marshall: And it's gonna be sweet, too. Like tonight, we're tasting all these different wines, pairing them up with these cool, gourmet cheeses.
Barney: Wow. Who knew being in a committed heterosexual relationship could make a guy so gay.
Ted: All right, cool kids are leaving now. Grandma, grandpa, don't wait up

Robin: He's even getting me into the VIP room.
Barney: He just wants to show you his own VIP, if you know what I mean.
Robin: All right, what does VIP stand for in your little universe?
Barney: Well, I know that the 'P' is penis

Future Ted: So, kids, would you like to hear the story of the time I went deaf?
Son: Why does he even ask?
Daughter: I know, he's just gonna tell us anyway

Displaying quotes 13 - 17 of 17 in total

Want more How I Met Your Mother?

Sign up for our daily newsletter and receive the latest tv news delivered to your inbox for free!

How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 5 Quotes

Robin: He's even getting me into the VIP room.
Barney: He just wants to show you his own VIP, if you know what I mean.
Robin: All right, what does VIP stand for in your little universe?
Barney: Well, I know that the 'P' is penis

Future Ted: So, kids, would you like to hear the story of the time I went deaf?
Son: Why does he even ask?
Daughter: I know, he's just gonna tell us anyway

x Close Ad