No no no! Ted do not give me that look.
Ted; A mountain of food, a ticking clock? Come on you live for this stuff.

Marshall

Robin: No! We are not doing Weekend at Barney's!
Ted: But that's the dream!

You guys see the irony here. The only person who could possibly get Barney back on his feet is Barney.

Ted

Ok I think my fiancé peed himself a little.

Robin

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney

If you keep lying to me, if you keep cutting me out of decisions, if you keep using words like winning and losing when you talk about our marriage? It's not like it will happen all at once, but if you keep acting this way, little by little, you're gonna lose me.

Lily

There is always a strip club.

Barney

You know what's weird Stella? Not seeing Star Wars until you're 30.

Ted

I must have heard your mother's version of Le Vie en Rose a million times over the years. Every night when she'd tuck you in for instance. That performance, that first night I ever heard her sing. That one will always be my favorite.

Ted

It's silly, but it's like the first lottery ticket I ever bought was, kaboom, jackpot! And I'm pretty sure I'm not going to win again. Not like that anyway.

The Mother

Kelly: Orchestra camp?
The Mother: It's not as lame as it sounds. We also did physics.

For a long time, deep down I felt sort of, broken? But I don't feel that way anymore. Robin, along with the idea that vengeance will soon be mine, has made me 100% awesome.

Barney

How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Quotes

Barney: Our wedding is gonna be legendary.
Robin: No wait for it?
Barney: I've got you, I don't have to wait for it anymore.

You know how I found out that I'm one quarter Canadian, but I've completely blocked it out because your country is ridiculous and I'm awesome?

Barney