Popular It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Quotes
Frank: I opened up to a therapist just once. I was a kid. I got into a fight. The doctor asked me question after question, got me so scrambled up. Next thing I know, I was shanghai'd upstate to a nitwit school. You know what a nitwit school is?
Therapist: I assume you mean a school for the mentally disabled.
Frank (spits pistachio shell): Yeah, not just for nuts in the head, but bodies, too. Back then science was real crude, they stuck us all together. My roommate was a frog-kid. You ever see a frog-kid?
No I don't eat dragon, cause, uh, it's not a meal for peasants, it's a meal for kings, and I'm sort of a common man. But they don't eat us, it's a common misconception. They actually eat gold and treasure -- that's why they're always sitting on a pile of it.Charlie
Naked pics online? That's disgusting. On a website? There's so many of them though. Where? Which one?Mac
Principal: I'm a little confused, are you telling me this photo of Bruce Jenner is your resume?
Charlie: Well, when I showed up this morning I didn't have a formal resume on me so i was sort of hoping the photograph of Mr. Jenner could represent the standard of excellence I'm hoping to bring to his position.
Principal: And you're looking for a job as a substitute teacher?
Charlie: Substitute janitor.
Storm coming? Hatchet coming.Charlie
What the shit is a thunder gun?Frank
I hear the guy hangs dong and I'm very interested in seeing that.Dee
Shut up, baby dick.Roxy
Well it's a cock ring, for, uh, all my lovers.Dee
Why are the urinals filled with rocks?Dennis
Oh, and also, he murdered and ate his family.Mac
This bimbo is my little brother.Gino