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Naked pics online? That's disgusting. On a website? There's so many of them though. Where? Which one?

Mac

Dennis: I am having feelings again. Like some kind of fourteen year old kid. You remember, feelings right?
Mac: Yeah. I have feelings every single day of my life.
Dennis: Do you?
Mac: Are you saying you don't have feelings?
Dennis: What I'm saying is a built up a shell.. a shell around myself. A cold, calculated shell that couldn't be broken by anything but marriage.

Therapist: 'Charlie Work'? What's 'Charlie Work'? Fill me in.
Charlie: Oh, right. You don't know 'Charlie Work'. Well, 'Charlie Work' is like basement stuff, cleaning urinals, blood stuff, your basic slimes, your sludges, anything dead or decaying, I'm on it, I'm dealing with it.
Therapist: And you dislike it?
Charlie: Oh, no. I love it. I love the dark. I love slippery things. I love being naked... in the sewer. Bleach smells good, it tastes good...

Principal: I'm a little confused, are you telling me this photo of Bruce Jenner is your resume?
Charlie: Well, when I showed up this morning I didn't have a formal resume on me so i was sort of hoping the photograph of Mr. Jenner could represent the standard of excellence I'm hoping to bring to his position.
Principal: And you're looking for a job as a substitute teacher?
Charlie: Substitute janitor.

Andrew Caine: And you are?
Mac: Vic Vinegar. Bodyguard. I don't shake hands, so don't even try.

Mac: Bro, when you tack on mass, you sacrifice flexibility. That's just a straight up fact
Charlie: That's insane. Touch your toes.
Mac: What am I a gymnast?

Dennis: We also have the bird with teeth.
Charlie: Wow, okay. And I'm assuming the teeth are fake, yes?
Dennis: Yes. Well they're not really human teeth if that's what you're asking
Charlie: No, I mean did you discover a bird with teeth in this fashion?
Dennis: That does not exist in nature.
Charlie: Okay, I'm not sure, but either way, good glue work.

Let's pull up our bootstraps, oil up a couple asses, and do a little plowing of our own. POW! (gestures a fist punch up an invisible ass)... Not gay sex.

Mac

(After Charlie throws away a girl's number)
Mac: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing, dude?
Charlie: What?
Mac: What are you doing?
Charlie: Ah.
Mac: That girl is gorgeous. She's like the perfect opportunity to show that we are not racist. She probably has friends for me.
Charlie: Well, come on. If anything, I think we should be focused on black men, first of all.
Mac: What?!

I hate listening to people's dreams. It's like flipping through a stack of photographs. If I'm not in any of them and nobody's having sex, I just don't care.

Dennis

What's going on is that you just drank a cup of poison.

Charlie

Sweet Dee: How could you not tell me you were gay?
Terrell: I'm a musical theater actor!

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 489 in total

It's Always Sunny Quotes

Naked pics online? That's disgusting. On a website? There's so many of them though. Where? Which one?

Mac

Dennis: I am having feelings again. Like some kind of fourteen year old kid. You remember, feelings right?
Mac: Yeah. I have feelings every single day of my life.
Dennis: Do you?
Mac: Are you saying you don't have feelings?
Dennis: What I'm saying is a built up a shell.. a shell around myself. A cold, calculated shell that couldn't be broken by anything but marriage.

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