It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 1 Episode 2: "Charlie Wants an Abortion" Quotes
Dee: Are you actually gonn throw away all you convictions for a chance to get laid?
Dennis: I don't really have any convictions.
Megan: What's this?
Mac: That's a list of the doctors I'm going to kill.
Megan: There's two already crossed out.
Mac: Yeah, I know.
So, you're not allowed to use birth control, but abortions are no problem?Dee
Dee: Did you use birth control?
Mac: Whoa, Dee. We went to Catholic school, so...
Dee: Okay, so, you're allowed to have premarital sex, but you're not allowed to use birth control?
I will smash your face into, into a jelly!
Dennis: I think all these chicks are gay.
Dee: Yeah, I don't know that they're gay; I think they can just smell how disgusting you are.
Dennis: So do you come to these kind of things often, or?
Pro-Choice Woman: Are you hitting on me at an abortion rally?
Charlie: Ah, I mean I wish I could go back in time and do the right thing, you know?
Dee: Like be there for her?
Charlie: No get her an abortion.
Charlie: Come stand next to me, then.
Charlie: So she doesn't think I'm creepy.
Dee: Well, you are creepy.
Charlie: I realize this. That's why I need you.
Tommy: You have to buy me a toy.
Charlie: I don't have to buy you shit.
Tommy: If you don't buy me anything, I'm going to tell my mom you took me to a black people's house.
Charlie: Wow! Oh, my God! That's racist. What do you, what do you say to that?
Tommy: You still have to buy me a toy!
You know, Den, I was thinking about what you were saying the other day about the t-shirts with the stupid slogans on them, and I was wondering what you think about this! (reveals a shirt that says "Death to baby killers") Huh, bitch? Yeah, is that stupid enough for ya?Mac